Friday, January 30, 2009

Kinda Grumpy


Not really, I'm content but I'm accepting that I'm grumpy too. Acceptance breeds contentment I guess. So even though....

....I am so sick of winter and the ice and dirty snow and bad parking and narrow roads and cars that park on narrow roads that you can't get around them and the cold so that your toes are never warm....

....I get jealous feelings over someone I should not have jealous feelings about although I want to have a reason to have these jealous feelings but I am working through the jealous feelings like a good AA girl....and better yet not acting on them...

....My boss likes to think of himself as a spiritually enlightened person but in reality he is clueless and somehow it has become my job to gently direct him and I would more like to scream out hypocrite...

....I get frustrated when someone professes to want my help and gets me all geared up but can't seem to even keep a commitment to call at a certain time...

.... I am continually asked what is going on when I have no idea what is going on and wonder how the heck did I become the person that is supposed to know and how can I stop doing that...and other people from expecting it...and how I can stop the mere question from compelling me to try to find out what is going on...

....I am constantly worried about saying or doing the wrong thing or assuming that I have...

....people can be mean and self absorbed...

....household chores are overwhelming me...

....life can be hard...

....money can be tight...

....and I don't always get what I want...

I can experience all of these things and be content..happy even. And I can do it sober. And this is a miracle.

14 comments:

Judith said...

I love love LOVE this post because I know exactlywhat you mean. We can feel all those frustrating things and still be happy because we are sober and working on ourselves. It's a beautiful thing.

J-Online said...

OMG. I can realate to about 98% of this. I thought for a second there I was reading about my life! Hang in there girl. You have the right attitude. That's the 2% I'm missing right now! LOL

Judith said...

I love love LOVE this post because I know exactlywhat you mean. We can feel all those frustrating things and still be happy because we are sober and working on ourselves. It's a beautiful thing.

Pammie said...

I am so with you on many of them.
Let's see if we feel the same by oh say...Monday or Tuesday.
It's exhaustive work isn't it????

Hope said...

Amen.

steveroni said...

Boy, do I like this post, Kathy-L, I mean L.I.K.E. Especially #1, 2, 6, and 11...and the final summation. Yep!

I guess we're just (sigh) human beings, after all.

Couple comments. In #1, Sh*t, just move to FL like I did 44 years ago, because I was exactly #1.

#2...Good for you! Key words "Not acting on them..."

#6. I'm ALWAYS adjusting my thinking, my schedule, my behaviors, so to conform to another's "whatever"....

Steve E.

11. Most of the time I DO get what I want, and when I do not, it's something I should not have, anyway (know what I mean, Kathy????) but I STILL "want it" -grinnnnn.

Fireman John said...

you are definitely on the path to spiritual enlightenment...
and conceding to all the speed bumps along the way!
great post!

Michael said...

Yes that was it for me some weeks Kathy, beautifully and comically written but I know so many of them thoughts, there those things outside yourself you cant control.
Hey I have given up control of myself now I am in a boat just enjoying the journey.
Ill react to things as they come and live in the "now" rather than the past or future.
I am enjoying a good bit of my life I wont be saying this when it all goes tits up again

Syd said...

Good stuff for all of us. I can choose to be miserable or I can choose happiness. I'd rather be happy.

Shadow said...

yikes. i totally understand all that. and that you're content, that is just great!

Shadow said...

yikes. i totally understand all that. and that you're content, that is just great!

indistinct said...

Just wanted to toss in, with all the other comments, that you've been peeking into my life.

Just confirms I'm in the right place.

Thank you for sharing that list and the joy at the end.

Anonymous said...

So what's going on? (tee hee)
Three cheers for January being over!!! I don't know what's goin on either, cabin fever to the max!

Wait. What? said...

Oh I so get this - I so GET this!