Just finished watching Rent for the umpteenth time. My daughter was watching and I came in midway with a basket of laundry to fold and got sucked in so now the last song is stuck in my head. "There's only us...There's only this ...Forget regret or life is yours to miss....No other road...No other way...No day but today..."
It's been a busy week. We attended my daughter's college orientation for a few days and today I spent with my 16 yr old son at an advanced driving class. Did manage to get a meeting in last night but I'm not going to make it today but tomorrow there is 2. I will then have a full week of meetings! Last night was a woman's group. There were several women that I have seen at different meetings and there were quite a few young girls who seemed to have been transported there. My takeaway from this meeting was the concept of "Thy Will Be Done." In the past I have prayed this in regards to my father's death, my mother's illness, essentially when there have been life and death decisions to be made. I never really applied them to my life until now. I know I have to get a sponser and its been weighing on me. I don't really know anyone yet and wasn't sure what it was all about. I'm working on learning about it through AA and here in the blogosphere as has been suggested. At the beginning of the meeting they asked if anyone was willing to be a temporary sponser and a woman raised her hand so I approached her at the end of the meeting. We exchanged numbers and then I asked her now what? She said you just call me when you need me. It's up to you to lift the 1000 lb phone. So I said, you mean when I am craving a drink or anxious and she said hopefully before that. So I'm not sure what to do with this. When is before that? Right now? I told her a little about what I've been doing so far and she didn't like the online stuff. She said her first suggestion was to get offline and I'm not comfortable with that either. Not sure she really understands it. I'm sure she thinks I'm isolating but I'm not. I'm sure of that. So.. do I call her and explain the supplemental role of this internet support. She suggested I start reading and I know I need to do that. I have tended to rely on quotes, etc. and have put down the book itself so I can read other stuff which relaxes me.
So read the BB, figure out this sponser thing and go to the 10 am tomorrow. Okey Dokey!
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7 comments:
Hi Kathym,
I have 8 weeks sober tomorrow and also live on the North Shore of Massachusetts. I belong to an all Womens group (Women for Sobriety) they also have a website which you can google. If you ever want support just drop me an email mattdevin_99@yahoo.com . The group meets weekly in Stoneham and I reside in Beverly, MA.
Maura
I am always wary of people who tell me to cut myself off from other modes of communication. It's not like she can't check it all out and participate herself or at least not judge before she knows what it is. But that's just me. That also doesn't mean she wouldn't be a good sponsor.
Anyway, as far as sponsorship goes, what has worked best for me is meeting in person on a fairly regular basis rather than depending on the telephone. This is partly because I am lousy at knowing when I actually need something until it is too freaking late. Instead, I have a regular communication with her that we talk about the steps and recovery both when I am stressed and when I am not.
My 2 cents, anyway. Also, remember that part of the idea of a "temporary" sponsor is that you are both trying each other out. Don't feel bad if she is not a good fit for you.
Nah. not my cup of tea.
getting the best sponsor available is HARD WORK.
Stop trying to analyze for now. try calling her every day and see what happens. but dont feel 'tied in'. call a load of other women as well.
i never did the temp sponsor thing. I had LOADS of phone no's of women long sober, and i either phoned one every day or spoke to one every day in meetings until I got a proper sponsor. after a great deal of hunting. this temp sponsor idea only exists because the old-timers are not ALREADY handing out their numbers or calling new women. i never do the 'temp sponsor' thing with Sponsees.
i'm online 'cause it's easier for me to clarify how i feel once i written something down. online or off? do what make you comfortable. as long as whatever it is helps you stay sober, what can be wrong with it???
Thanks for your comments. These were my feelings as well. I'd prefer to meet in person and I really felt like I should have a teacher for the steps and the personal stuff could come later. I don't like having it up to me because I don't trust myself yet. I have no idea what I'm doing.
I too am a much better writer than a speaker. I have never journaled before and always wanted to. I think this blog forum is working for me is bacause I am getting feedback for what I feel. Reinforcement, a kick in the butt, advice, direction, empathy and a laugh. You don't get that from a piece of paper. I'll give her a try but keep the temporary in CAPS and keep looking for what I need.
Try the AA approved Q&A on Sponsorship leaflet. It will answer many of your questions. Its on the AA website (theres a link under "useful stuff" in the margin on my blog) try calling her see how it feels, AND continue to collect other womens numbers and call them aswell, I was always encouraged to talk on the phone or face to face to other women in the fellowship new and long term, it also helped me see how my sponsors really were compared to others. It took a while to find out who really has what I wanted ? Remember you can change sponsors at any time.
Thanks for the reminder johno. You had suggested I take a look at that flyer earlier and I just hadn't gotten to it yet. Guess I should take a look before I go questioning. I did call her today and left a message. Just that I wasn't calling for any particular reason but just checking in because that't what I thought I was supposed to do.
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