Tough Day

I had a really hard time with my boss today. He is a brilliant attorney and I have learned a great deal from him. But I am sure he is also obsessive compulsive or maybe bipolar (his sister is) . At the very least he has ADD. So he is a very hard individual to work for and it is just the 2 of us. He is a sole practioner. Nooone else he has hired has ever lasted. I've been there for 7 1/2 years now. I love the work and most of the time I can deal with him, actually I should say manage him or just yes him. We even have a relationship where I can make fun of his idiosyncracies or give him a hard time right back.

But today, it was just getting to me. I just didn't feel like accepting or managing his behavio. I just wanted to tell him he was crazy and judgemental. He goes on and on about other people, full of judgement or resentment. I usually try to get him to see the other side or I'll yes him just to get him to stop but boy oh boy, I just wanted to say SHUT UP. DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF?? But I can't really do that. He signs my paycheck. He goes on and on about authentic communication but he never listens to a word anyone ever says. He formulates his opinions and no matter what someone says he spins it to fit his view. And he's good at it, he's an attorney.

He noticed that I wasn't myself today. He just kept jumping around from one thing to another and I guess I was getting visibly pissed. He asked me if I had been out "partying" over the weekend. I had to laugh. I told him far from it, but I just wanted to finish something. Once he passes something on to me he forgets and moves on to the next thing. I wouldn't mind but then he wants to know if I finished the first thing. ARGHHH.

Anyway, don't mean to dump though it does feel great to let this all out here. Noone else really gets it except for the few folks who have worked for him in the past that I occasionally run into. But I don't want to badmouth him either so we just knowingly shake our heads. His brother is also an attorney in another part of the state and from what I gather from his paralegal, he is the same way except he is not a workaholic which my boss is so there is never any getting away.

But I was thinking that perhaps this is all me. In the past I was probably too focused on my hangover to really deal with him so I just didn't care. Now, perhaps I am just a bit more sensitive?? Lost some of the defenses. I don't know but I hope I get over it. I've got a couple of days off this week to attend my daughters college orientation so maybe the time off will help.

Didn't drink though and went to a meeting in my neighborhood on the river. It was nice. Well, nice isn't actually accurate but it felt right. Night.