Day 4 AM

The surrender post really hit me. Some of the themes I have always tried to live my life by ie no expectations, etc. But letting go of what I want people to be including myself struck me. Especially with Husband. If I let go maybe I won't get so frustrated and if I'm not frustrated maybe I won't want to drink.

Feeling good this AM. No 2am awakenings after passingout. Rested. Hangover free. Feeling positive. Feeling hopeful. Feeling scared. I hope Big Bastard doesn't come this afternoon. I've got to work on my list, bills, laundry, loan application for college, the usual stuff and the unusual. I can't wait for the day when the desire to "get away" goes away.

A day of new beginnings. A sober life. Wish me luck!