I really like this line from Kelly Clarkson's song "Sober".. "Picked all my weeds and kept my flowers." I guess that is what I am doing, picking my weeds. At 16 days, I'm still looking for my flowers. I think that's what I am getting from meetings. You find your weeds and for me I'm seeing other people's flowers that I hope I either can unbury or can grow.
Did another meeting today. That's five now. Soon, I'll have to stop counting. They say 90 meetings in 90 days and I'm just 5 for 16 so it's good if I double up right? I am getting something from each one. Tonight's speaker was wonderful. I got the message of patience and tolerance from him which I very much needed to hear today. It's wierd that I can have patience and tolerance for strangers and not for the people closest to me. He also talked about presentation. He made a lovely romantic dinner for his wife but then was upset when she wasn't appreciative. LOOK WHAT I HAVE DONE FOR YOU! I think I have that problem. My life is doing for my family. Dinner, laundry, nice stuff, fun stuff, preparations, etc. I often feel unappreciated but what I learned tonight is that I'm expecting gratitude and that is not how I should be presenting what I do for my family. If I can do these things for the joy of doing them, not only will I be happier but hopefully my family will feel the joy as well. And that is a much better gift than their gratitude. I must work on this. My lesson for the day. Felt very weepy but garnered the courage to speak and tell him that I really needed to hear what he said today.
Peace.
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5 comments:
i remember feeling very weepy in meetings at the beginning. i think its very common. theres a lot to learn as I think you are beginning to find out. Its is fun shopping around loking for the meeting that suits you enough to be a home group. there are some reeally lovely people in aa, but we just have to make a bit of an effort to find our 'gang'. sounds great. try to speak to people after the meeting if possible. if they go for coffee after that is. you can ask for phone numbers you know. it will help you get to know the other women better. keep coming back! and glad you liked it!
very true. i also make the mistake of expecting and when it doesn't happen, i get p@##ed off. thanks for the reminder...
How many meetings? it was suggested to me to "just try to do as many as you can, you cannot do TOO MANY meetings" I found that to be very true, I heard lots of useful stuff, aswell as just exactly how people got the joys of recovery. If you have family commitments at home aswell, a commen sense approach is required. Its a day at a time, somedays I found more than 1 meeting a MUST.
Finally caught up! You are showing so much growth in just a couple of weeks. It's awesome to see. Thank you for sharing it.
I'm off to Cape Cod for the week. Have a great Fourth and catch you when I return.
hi there! just thougtht id pop in and say hello..
hope you find some nice early weekend meetings with coffee in cool cafes after..
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