Okay. Up to today I can honestly say the urges to drink have not been too profound and I've been feeling very postive. I've been able to divert my attention or avoid the urge in the first place by just avoiding certain situations or maintaining a level of calm. But here it is Friday afternoon. It was a long day at work and I'm exhausted. My house is a mess. My daughter is already reeking havoc and has not even been home for 24 hours. I've got a lot of stressful financial planning on my plate for the weekend. And that desire to wind down with a glass of wine is just slapping me in the face. I even thought okay, just a sip, not even a whole glass. Well actually, that wasn't me. That was Big Bastard. (I'd call him BB for short but I don't want to confuse people between him and the Big Book:) So this is the beginning of an Urge Log:
Date: 6/22/07
Time: Began at 4:00pm on the drive home from work.
Peak Intensity: on a 1-10 scale, I'd say a 7.5
Duration: Well, it's 5:40 pm right now so 2 hours at least
Rise to the Urge: Friday afternoon routine, tired, stress
Extent of engaging in the Urge: 0, so far
Reaction to engagment: Gritting my teeth but typing away even though I've got tired computer hands. Will feel great if I get through the night.
Can't really avoid this "high risk" situation. Friday's come once a week, my daughter is here to stay (and I love her), challenging work will always be exhausting and I like challenges. So, the only thing to do is change my thinking, take a nap, who cares about the house, tell my daughter I can't engage in a battle and leave tomorrow's chores to tomorrow. AND NOT DRINK!
Okay, maybe this will help?
Saint Francis Prayer
About Me
- Kathy Lynne
- North Shore, Massachusetts
- "But the first salt wind from the east, the first sight of the lighthouse set boldly on its outer rock, the flash of a gull, the waiting procession of seaward-bound firs on an island, made me feel solid and definate again..." -Sarah Orne Jewitt
Release Me
From the Bondage of Self
Going Sober: June 11, 2007
To live a spiritual life we must first find the courage to enter into the desert of loneliness and to change it by gentle and persistent efforts into a garden of solitude.
--Henri J. M. Nouwen
Going Sober: June 11, 2007
To live a spiritual life we must first find the courage to enter into the desert of loneliness and to change it by gentle and persistent efforts into a garden of solitude.
--Henri J. M. Nouwen
So Far Away by Stain'd
And So It Continues....
"There were in her at the moment two beings, one drawing deep breaths of freedom and exhilaration, the other gasping for air in a little black prison-house of fears. But gradually the captive's gasps grew fainter, or the other paid less heed to them; the horizon expanded, the air grew stronger, and the free spirit quivered for flight." Edith Wharton
Contemplative Outreach
Followers
Other Sites of Interest
Intro to Centering Prayer
On My Way
"I look to the future because that is where I'm going to spend my life" George Burns
Step 1
Surrender -Accept the Things I Cannot Change
Step 2
Came to Believe -Change the Things That I Can
Step 3
The Care of God -Wisdom to Know the Difference
Deep Peace
MY TRUE INSPIRATION
Then
And Now
Greatness
Books of Interest
- Alcoholics Annonymous by AA Services
- Blackout Girl by Jennifer Storm
- Came to Believe by AA Services
- Courage to Change: Personal Conversation about Alcoholism with Dennis Wholey
- Drinking: A Love Story by Caroline Knapp
- Dry: A Memoir by Augusten Burroughs
- First Year Sobriety: When All That Changes is Everything by Guy Kettelhack
- Happy Hours: Alcohol in a Woman's Life by Devon Jersild
- How to Stop Screwing Up: 12 Steps to a Real Live and Pretty Good Time by Martha Woodruff
- Invitation to Love by Thomas Keating
- Living Sober by AA services
- Love First: A New Approach to Intervention for Alcoholism & Drug Addiction by Jeff Jay, Debra Jay et al.
- MIllion Little Pieces by James Frey
- Open Mind, Open Heart by Thomas Keating
- Parched by Heather King
- Plan B: Futher Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott
- Redeemed by Heather King
- Save Your Own by Elizabeth Brink
- Sermon on the Mount by Emmett Fox
- Smashed: Story of a Drunken Girlhood by Koren Zailckas
- The Glass Castle by Jeanette Wells
- The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis
- The Magnificent Defeat by Frederick Buechner
- Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson & David Oliver Relin (Not about alcohol but an inspiration and a must read)
- Traveling Mercies Some Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott
- Whiskey's Children by Jack Erdmann, Larry Kearney
For Terry
Just to BE
Music
Sober by Pink
Here I Am
Sober
One Day at a Time
Blog Archive
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- No Day Like Today
- Weeds & Flowers
- Mother Daughters and Meetings
- I thought you might need this one-day.
- Tough Day
- Second Meeting
- Day 14
- Taking the Plunge
- An Easier Softer Way for the Newcomer
- Urges
- Anger
- Day 9
- Smart Recovery Change Plan
- I Miss my Father
- Day 6
- Day 5
- Tools
- A 25 Day Big Book Study Guide - Day 1 (Page XI - X...
- Day 4 AM
- Surrender
- DAY 3 PM
- Day 3 AM
- Day 2
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2 comments:
It was suggested to me to start collecting new peoples phone numbers who were of the same sex as me, from very early on in recovery. Take Action. Phone one of them EVERY day, ask them how they are, leave messages if I got a voicemail, offer to go with them to a meeting, share my experience of whats i've been doing in AA, whats worked for me in dealing with my "stuff" in the last how ever many days I had been, "Pass It On", what was suggested to me. At times we are unable to get to meetings. At these times, when restless, irritable & discontented, I have phoned one after the other after the other after the other. Somthing happens, I stayed sober. I forgot about myself. Its not about staying on the phone for hours with people, it just about helping others as they had done for me. Like Bill W AA's "co founder" did, when he got the urge to drink in the hotel lobby... P154 Big Book, he took action to find another alky to help, he phoned and phoned and phoned until he got through to someone, who led him to Dr Bob... and AA was born. Have a look at RECOVERY ARCHIVE blog margin on right hand side, see "6 things to do each day" suggestion *No2 Phone a newcomer. Give it away to keep it. THIS IS YOUR MOST POWERFUL DEFENCE AGAINST DRINKING* Both Dr Bob's Nightmare and Bills Story are both in the Big Book. Both speak about their work with other alcoholics and although Dr Bob had cravings for 1.5years after stopping drinking, both these men died sober. My experience is that "using the phone" works, often just one phone call "took the edge off my mood, changes me" I didnt do this suggestion perfectly, but it worked when i work it, and still does, same as it did for those 100 members who wrote the big book for us.
I think pretty much all new people find the weekends difficult to begin with. I found going to meetings, especially early morning ones helped a lot. it was always nice being surrounded by people and going to cafes and bistros endlessly. It was a lot of fun as I recall.
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