Just finished watching Rent for the umpteenth time. My daughter was watching and I came in midway with a basket of laundry to fold and got sucked in so now the last song is stuck in my head. "There's only us...There's only this ...Forget regret or life is yours to miss....No other road...No other way...No day but today..."
It's been a busy week. We attended my daughter's college orientation for a few days and today I spent with my 16 yr old son at an advanced driving class. Did manage to get a meeting in last night but I'm not going to make it today but tomorrow there is 2. I will then have a full week of meetings! Last night was a woman's group. There were several women that I have seen at different meetings and there were quite a few young girls who seemed to have been transported there. My takeaway from this meeting was the concept of "Thy Will Be Done." In the past I have prayed this in regards to my father's death, my mother's illness, essentially when there have been life and death decisions to be made. I never really applied them to my life until now. I know I have to get a sponser and its been weighing on me. I don't really know anyone yet and wasn't sure what it was all about. I'm working on learning about it through AA and here in the blogosphere as has been suggested. At the beginning of the meeting they asked if anyone was willing to be a temporary sponser and a woman raised her hand so I approached her at the end of the meeting. We exchanged numbers and then I asked her now what? She said you just call me when you need me. It's up to you to lift the 1000 lb phone. So I said, you mean when I am craving a drink or anxious and she said hopefully before that. So I'm not sure what to do with this. When is before that? Right now? I told her a little about what I've been doing so far and she didn't like the online stuff. She said her first suggestion was to get offline and I'm not comfortable with that either. Not sure she really understands it. I'm sure she thinks I'm isolating but I'm not. I'm sure of that. So.. do I call her and explain the supplemental role of this internet support. She suggested I start reading and I know I need to do that. I have tended to rely on quotes, etc. and have put down the book itself so I can read other stuff which relaxes me.
So read the BB, figure out this sponser thing and go to the 10 am tomorrow. Okey Dokey!
The Delicate Equilibrium
1 week ago