Trying to Stay in the Day

So I had my first B12 shot, nothing changed but I suppose it will take awhile to feel the difference. And of course now that I have a diagnosis for my fatigue, I just want to use it. I always pushed through it, at least most of the time, when I could, but now I don't even want to try. Especially since it may go away soon. Why waste a good excuse for napping or avoiding chores?

And now for something completely different....I got a call today from the xray dept that did my mammogram last week and apparently the radiologist wants to do an ultrasound. So of course, that means he (well that's a sexist assumption), I mean she saw something abnormal. I didn't get into with the person who called because she would just tell me its routine. And I know that. But of course, I'm off and running. Already planning my masectomy. Wondering if I could get a breast reduction out of the deal....maybe it will help with weight loss....planning how to tell my kids....thinking about whether or not I would want a drink if I got a death sentence. I think I do. And that is not where I was just a few short weeks ago. So I need to get back in the moment, and just wait until Wednesday when I get it done. I suppose I need to call my sponser which I haven't done lately and get cracking on my program.

Speaking of amends. I had flashback to my friend's wedding back in 1976. We were 18. She lives in another state and I will be attending her 50th birthday party in 2 weeks. When she got married I threw up in the centerpiece of our table. At least I wasn't in the wedding and it wasn't the head table. But her sister had to take me outside where I finished getting sick. Charming. And to top that off there was a bomb scare at the wedding, (long story), and while I was outside in the parking lot, in my humiliation, the entire reception had to also come outside. Freaked me out. So I'm not sure I owe my friend an amends or not. I think the bomb scare ruined her wedding not me. Not sure she was harmed by me. In fact I'm a story she gets to tell....that people can laugh at. People have lots of fun stories about me when I was drunk. Anyway, I sure as hell don't WANT to bring it back to the forefront but maybe I should. Maybe just the fact that I remembered it and am questioning it means I should make the amends. Back to my sponser...

Thank you all for being here. I've been out of sorts and haven't been participating in blogdom lately but I care. And bottom line, I did not drink.