A Blessing

It was wierd yesterday, I actually got butterflies going to the meeting. I kinda hoped I could walk in and it would be another day but I knew that a few people in there would make a big deal and they did. But it was nice. This is my family. The chairperson asked me if I would start the round robin so I said okay and then regretted it. Only because one of those miracles happenend and I got choked up. My gratitude list yesterday included a woman, Ruth from that meeting who I had not seen in quite some time. She had moved to another part of the state and though I didn't know that and in the back of my mind I always wondered I had asked one of her friends who pops in and out of the meeting how she was and her response was she hadn't seen her and to call her. I called the number I had but it had been disconnected so I just had to wonder.

Yesterday she just "happened" to be in town and when she walked into the meeting I couldn't believe it. And my eyes just welled up. I had to excuse myself during the reading of How It Works and made sure to come back with a big chunk of paper towel. She had just been so nurturing towards me and had a gentle, warmness about her. When I finally accepted my 24 hour chip the feeling was overwhelming and when we stood up to say the Lord's Prayer that day I was weeping. She gave my hand a squeeze and said the Lord's Prayer made her cry too and asked me if I needed a phone list from the group. I never would have done so on my own. Then she wrote her number on it and that was that. About a month or so later, she took me on my first committment. Our group goes to a local rehab facility once a month. It was her turn to lead and she had announced she needed volunteers. I approached her and asked if I was too "young" to go. And her response was, you have more sobriety than they do so come along. It was an amazing experience for me. I had to tell my story but I honestly didn't have a story to tell yet. I was still learning what my story was. She said to start there and I did. It was good for me and I think it was helpful that day to some of the patients. Anyway, I firmly believe that it was no accident that she was there. I was given an opportunity to thank her and tell her how much I appreciated her kindness in my early sobriety. We both felt blessed and I may never see her again but that's okay. She will always be part of my story now.

The rest of the meeting was emotional. I shared my gratitude and so did the group. Some newcomers shared their hope and struggle. It was overwhelming and I cried again during the Lord's Prayer. Imagine that:)? Then I received my medallion and my little sobriety "sister" presented me with "victory roses" and some balloons. And not only that, the chairperson presented me with a key because I will be chairing the Tuesday meeting going forward. Wow!

I need to add a few things to my gratitude list. I am grateful for:

Sonia, Andrea, and Mercedes who allowed me to give them rides which got me to meetings even when I didn't want to go. They've all blossomed and are driving themselves now but Sonia needed a ride yesterday to work and so we did it again. I got to tell her how much she had helped me even in spite of myself because at times I had resented having to pick her up.

Terri who I brought to a couple of meetings in the middle of her relapse and who now in her sobriety is teaching me valuable lessons every day.

The men of AA who continually show me that men can be gentle, compassionate, senstitive and emotional. That they can be honest and expressive.

My Monday night Powow group who taught me about service and group conscience and got me to run around and ask people to speak. That was hard. Still is.

Anyway, the rest of the day was uneventful, shopping for some birthday gifts (oh and I bought myself a beautiful candle for my present), laundry, dinner. My sponser called me to give me her congratulations and to see how the day went. Just another sober day. A blessing.

This is what my card says: "Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation--some fact of my life--unacceptable to me, and I can find no serentiy until I accept that person, place thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothin, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accpet life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be cahnged in me and in my attitudes." page 449.