What is a home group?? I went back to that morning meeting. What's good about today. I like it because its postive. There was someone there who was struggling with being newly sober. They just found out they lost a member who od'd. There were concerns about the upcoming 4th of July holiday. Doesn't sound positive does it? But it was somehow. Everyone managed to turn their fears into something positive. I've always tried to live my life from the power of positive thinking. Does it always work? No way. But I love that I found a group that starts there.
When I was at this meeting last Wednesday, I told them I was new and the woman next to me urged me to claim the 24hr to 29 day chip. She was there today and just about pushed me to stand up so I did. It was a wonderful experience because of the response. I do have a regret though. I wish I had turned around and handed it to the guy who sounded like he just had a day, if that. I want him to come back. I think I understand about needing to share it now. Is it weird to feel like I can offer someone ESH at only 3 weeks? I don't know. I just felt it.
And I think I knew I was in the right place when we held hands to say the Lord's Prayer. I couldn't get through it. Tears just started streaming down my face. Up to now, I've been weepy but this could have very well turned into what Oprah calls the ugly cry. The group leader for today just gave me such a comforting hug as did several others. I got a list of the members and numbers. Is that a home group? What does that mean for my participation in other groups? They keep announcing that the Monday night group I attended needs support and a coffeemaker. If I make coffee for them does that mean its my home group? I'm confused. Maybe this is what I should be calling the temp about?
At least I'm not confused about whether I want to drink or not. I DON'T!
I am grateful for my daughter who wants to have dinner with us tonight
I am grateful for Ruth who says the Lord's Prayer gets her too
I am grateful for Chickie who wagged her finger so I'd claim the chip
I am grateful for Sonya who shared her need for a sponser for accountability
I am grateful for Joan who knits through meetings and makes me feel comfortable
I am grateful to be sober
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4 comments:
yeh Give Sponsor a call, leave her a message with your question. See what she says, ask her where her home group is? why she chose it and if she has more than one? Not everyone does, I have two, my sponsor has one. Neither is right or wrong. Home groups for me are where I get to see how the Steps works on other people (and they in me) by WATCHING and LISTENING to them. And going for coffee after and doing the same (for ages) As I turned up week after week, I saw them change, straighten up, lighten up, smile, look weller etc, these people were doing the Steps, they shared about recovery and how they used the programme in their lives. I asked the secretary to consider me when jobs came up in the group. Even though I generally felt very uncomfortable, they gave me hope. I felt more comfortable in certain meetings but they havent ended up my home group. In EARLY days it can be tempting to sit in meetings listening to people sharing about problems and confusion, same old week after week, it natural, because its where we are at too. My sponsor pointed me in the direction of Meetings that were recovery focussed, rather than problem focussed. I've been tempted to go to struggling meetings too, Sponsor suggested not. I was to get to the very BEST meetings, a good suggestion i found. FOR NOW, I would concentrate on finding the BEST meetings where the comfy, happy, friendly, helpful women are, who encourage recovery & fellowship. sounds like todays could be just that ? an upbeat meeting. If it feels ok keep going. If someone suggests another Monday meeting, try it next week, you may find you still prefer this one for now, and thats ok. Home groups are for me NOW are where I go and pass on the message of recovery, and along with the Group, we try to make it as welcoming to the newcomer as possible, we have fellowship an hour before the meeting starts, a break in the middle and food after, again for fellowship. There are lots of people going through the steps, all willing to share their experience with each other, provide encouragement before and after the meeting. There are lots of men and women available to sponsor. Its a friendly safe place. My other Home Groups on Friday, and last week after the meeting it was just like a Friday out with my friends, so much laughing going on. (i wrote a post last Friday about it) I suggest you go to as many different meetings for a few weeks, collect numbers and call lots of women and get meeting recommendations from the comfiest, peaceful and radiant women you can find. I love the Lords Prayer too, I hadnt said it since school and its amazing that I could recite it nearly perfect when I tried. Its a great prayer. Tears are healing, let them out, don't hold back now
:-) AND FINALLY :-D there is a AA book called The Home Group heart beat of AA, its got lots of AA's experiences of what a home group means to them, taken from Grapevine AA's Journal. http://www.aagrapevine.org/catalog/shop/books.php shows you it. ok enough of me, am off to bed. Take care.
OMG long comment!?
I think maybe I get ahead of myself too. Maybe I should just be going to meetings and getting comfortable and all this home group, sponsership stuff will fall into place. I do have a tendancy to push myself. I'll check out the grapevine link but I am just going to concentrate on meetings and let the rest be for now.
thats a BIG question.I have quite a few posts on choosing a home group. In its simplest form, a home group is a meeting you attend every week. In theory iit is a meeting where you volunteer to do some kind of service.
But it can be a LOT more than that. But if you DECIDE to go to one every week, then technically, you could call it a 'home group'.
When I was new, I one MAIN home group, which met twice a week, and I think I had about 3 others. Three 'satellite' home groups. And the others were just 'padding' so to speak.
Look for evidence of recovery. People who get sober and STAY sober. And people who look as though they are ENJOYING their sobriety.
Don't worry, the more you look around the meetings in your area, the more you will get to know the AA's in your neighbourhood, and the easier it will be to decide which ones you like best. You are sortof choosing a 'gang' a 'posse' to hang out with. I'm sure there are LOADS to choose from..
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