31 DAYS

Yesterday was my 30 days and those "coincidences" kept showing themselves to me. A new friend was celebrating her 1 year at my morning meeting, many of my new blogger buddies had anniversaries and it culminated in last night the speaker was celebrating his 3rd year. But in additon to celebration it was also a day of warnings. I haven't had a desire for a drink but last night there were a few in the room who had just come back after having had that first drink which we know leads to many more.

I know that I could easily talk myself into a cocktail hour in spite of how good I feel and I must remember how many hours the the cocktail hour turned into. And how horrible those hours can make me feel. I can romanticize why I want a drink. I like the idea of a drink...ice cold beer on a hot summer night, crisp champagne for a cool celebration, a red wine glow in a candlelit room, gin & tonic on the veranda, sophisticated martini at a bustling steakhouse... yada yada yada. It's like a really handsome guy (sorry husband) who holds a lot of promise and then you find out he's a liar and a cheat.

I know I am powerless, I have come to believe and I am working on turning it over. That's a tough one for me because I have no practice, not sure how its done but I'm reading through the Big Book, and I like the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions introduced at a Step Meeting I went to, (you know how I like things spelled out) so I feel I will get there. And I've got a sponser now to lead me. Think I finally know what to talk to her about.

I got 2 chips yesterday. Is that legal? One in the morning and at the evening meeting the woman who handed them out wouldn't stop saying one month till I came up. I told them I had gotten one already but they made me come up anyway. It was sweet. I didn't want to keep it because someone at the morning meeting said that can be the only one you ever get. And so its the only one I want. So I gave the second one to my husband. Because he has stuck with me even though I am often not available to him. Between being drunk and now working on sobriety, he's put up with a lot. But he appreciates what I am doing now though I'm not sure he understands it. He did like the chip though. I'm happy to share this journey with him.