Monday, July 30, 2007

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Sunset on Swan's Island

Back from vacation and still sober! We were on Swan's Island which is a 30 minute ferry ride off Bass Harbor on Mount Desert Island (near Acadia National Park) in Maine. Nothing there but us, the seals, the birds, the deer and the water. My husband even saw a porpoise. The home we rented was down a 3 1/2 mile dirt road in the middle of the woods on the edge of the ocean. There are no stores, no restaurants, no theaters, etc. We kayaked, collected shells, read books,
napped, played cards, had fires on the beach (or rocks I should say) and ate lobsters caught that morning as that is what is done by the 350 year round residents. The home we rented was top of the line so we got the best of both worlds, nature and nurture. Jacuzzi and steam, plush easy chairs, modern kitchen and a majestic ocean view from every room. Very grateful, very rested and very blessed. It was my first sober vacation probably since childhood.

I'll have to admit upon arrival it was tough not opening a bottle of
wine to have with the noshes I'd prepared to relax on the deck and
soak in the view. Really tough to break that pattern. But I have no doubt that doing so would have led to a second and third and who knows how many bottles. I
would have then not enjoyed the next day and the days and nights to
follow. Hungover &/or drunk, I would not have been able to kayak or
walk the rocky shore with endurance or stay up to watch a movie or
play cards with my kids. So I am grateful that by "chance" I chose a
dry island to visit and my husband "forgot" to bring his beer. I think I have learned to think that first drink through to the end.

I spent time each morning and evening reading the stories in the Big
Book and studying the steps. My big plans to embark on Step 4 were
put aside for meditation and prayer. I wasn't avoiding it but in
keeping with the purpose of the vacation, which was to reclaim peace
and tranquility, it seemed the right thing to do or not do as it
were. More for that in the real world. I did not go to the 2 meetings on the island that I was suprised and grateful to find (there are only 350 year round
residents)and had planned to attend. For practicality, I didn't relish
driving the 3+ mile unlit, unfamiliar dirt road back to our house in
the dark and the timing also interfered with the sunsets I paid good
money to see:) Secondly and honestly, I was chicken. I'm just
getting comfortable in meetings and a strange place was a little
scary. But the first part, and leaving my husband (he wouldn't come),
really outweighed the chicken part or I would have forced myself to
go so I feel good about my decision. I hope to visit a meeting
outside my local area in the future, with any luck the one on Swan's Island. Sounds like a alot of excuses but I did honestly examine my motives and bottom line, I didn't drink according to my sponser. Helped me to learn to keep it in the day, balance and not to have expectations.

Anyway, I know we are not supposed to make big changes in our first year of sobriety but I do plan a career change. I told the boss I want to be a lobsterman (according to my husband a woman can run a lobster boat but there is no such thing as lobsterwoman). I could picture my life there. One day at a time.....

5 comments:

Shadow said...

welcome home and your holiday sounds absolutely wonderful!

it's strange how habits creep up on us though. it's always the 'first' of whatever that catches you. after that it gets easier. you've noticed that, i'm sure.

and i wish you luck becoming a lobsterwoman, heee heee heee

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

cool. glad you haf a good time.
i have nothing against lobster people, but you would be surprised where you can find peace. I have abubble of calm in densely conjested areas. so you just never know where you will end up. but hey, if you fancy it, why not?
nice to see you back!

Pammie said...

welcome back..that sounds like a fabulous vacation!!!

johno said...

welcome home!! and love the sea photo. The beach is a great place for improving conscious contact for me too. hmmm, its amazing what lengths we will go to NOT to do step4... lobster boats :D great idea though, maybe wait til ya done the first 9 steps... Good to hav you bloggin again

Meg Moran said...

what an amazing wonderful way to connect with you family, God and some lobster!!! yummy yum yum