Tuesday, July 17, 2007

You've Got What I Want

You know how you hear all those sayings at meetings and elsewhere. Meeting makers make it. Constant vigilence. Happy, Joyous and Free. I think they're true. There's a man who is at quite a few of the meetings I go to. He was one of the "uncles" at the step meeting I attended last week. Everytime he shares he seems to say something that hits a nerve with me. Not necessarily because I relate since his story is very different than mine. Maybe it is just seeing a man share his feelings so readily. My dad didn't, my husband doesn't.

Yesterday morning, one of the members celebrated a year and I watched this man because he looked like he was about to bust a gut he was so filled with joy for his friend to whom he presented the 1 year medallion. As Providence would have it, he spoke at last nights meeting as well. He said how much he loved the 12th step. Again he was beaming as related how he spent his day getting someone into detox and helping his family. He's had a lot of misfortunes but he is a happy man. I want what he's got and I was lucky to have the nerve to tell him so. (He said he wished more women wanted what he got:) I can't wait to get to the twelfth step. One step at a time of course!

4 comments:

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

I was told i could start practicing step 12 straight away by trying to help those newer than myself. by looking out for those newer than me, and trying to 'give it away to keep it', that's how "I might build what I saw in my friend. Would I have it? Of course I would!" p12 Doesn't have to be BIG stuff. Can just be a phone call, or inviting them for coffee. It all helps!
That's why the 6 things have phoning a newcomer as one of the suggestions. Every time I make tea at a meeting or do some other service, I am practicing step 12 also.
I know what you mean when you say you see something 'attractive' about that man. I too, LOVE people who really do think of others and to my mind are practicing "constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs." p20. Its a very hard thing to explain in words, but I know it looks like joy and 'life' of some sort. I sort of 'lifts' people or something.. I like these descriptions:
"he stood there, fresh-skinned and glowing. There was something about his eyes. He was inexplicably different. P9
"The expression on the faces of the women, that indefinable something in the eyes of the men" p160
Also I like that it is something you FEEL about a person more than anything. Not an 'idea' or a 'belief' or anything. Just something very attractive. That is true spirituality in my opinion. Not lofty ideas. Or clever words. Its an energy you can feel about a person. Its something about their presence that just makes you feel good to be in the same room as them. That's all. The Buddhists call it 'wordless transmission'. Meaning it is a 'teaching' that is felt, not spoken. I love being around benign and energized presences. He sounds like he has joy in his heart, and that is always very attractive. See? It IS by giving that we receive!
Anyway better be getting on. TOO !!!! LONG!! Sorry!

Anonymous said...

I am a huge, huge sucker for men with tears. My father was a very sensitive guy and he would cry openly with no problem. I think it must remind me of him somehow.
People who are excited about helping others are very attractive. You have 36 days clean -- you can carry the message, too, my dear. 12 step away!
Peace,
Scout

Meg Moran said...

I imagine you made him feel like a million bucks! I love it when I feel like I may have made a tweeny weeny difference...life can be so challenging, it is great to feel connected. Get out there and carry the message with your new Aunts, Uncles and cousins...these rooms are about the love.

johno said...

Yeh I love it when I can feel a persons gratitude coming outer them. Its almost like a shared Spiritual High. "Working with others..., being of maximum helpfulness..., Constant thought of others..." all out of the the Big Book, its great to do for others what was done for me when I came in (no strings kindness, even if its just saying hi, can I get you a cuppa tea, and the toilets are out there! How are you today? I get to feel so much better. I find the people in AA who seem the most comfortable are the people who do service, theres lots of different types of service, something to suit everyone, its all Step12 and tradition 5.