Step Sisters

Well, everyday something else is revealed. Every moment it seems for me lately. Tonight I went to a womens step meeting they call Step Sisters. Just before going, my online sponser called me all the way from California. She is a member of the AABC group and had offered to work with me until I found a sponser. We haven't really done much, worked on Step 1 via an outline she sent me. We talked about my boss which I've posted about here and we talked about sponsership in general. She said she really called to get me used to talking to someone on the phone. Anyway, it was very nice to speak with someone I have just corresponded with via email and posts. And it did help having a conversation about my stuff and having someone not only relate to me but also validate me and give me a direction. Anyway,

I went to the meeting. Lo and behold a woman I know because our daughters went to elementary school together and hung out together this year was there. I have been waiting to see someone I really know at one of these. I've seen a few familiar faces but noone I know. We aren't really friends but we've talked as mothers do. She also worked where I worked in the restaurant but not at the same time and she's a musician and had played there to. Point being, I've known her for awhile and I always liked her. Very friendly, very open. The meeting was a good one. I liked it.

And then, drum roll please..... I asked her to be my sponser. Not sure if that is weird because I know her but I felt comfortable because I know her. It felt like I was brought to this meeting for this purpose. She agreed and we spoke briefly about what that might mean. For tomorrow it means I call her between 2 -3 which amazingly works for both of our schedules and then we'll figure out our schedules to meet. She was worried that she'd have to cart me to meetings which would be tough for her but I don't think I need help in that area. I'm doing about 2 a day, my 7 am daily meeting and then wherever I can find a 7 pm weekly meeting. Don't think I have one for Thursday nights but maybe I can have a night off??? I told her I had numbers but because I had been feeling pretty good about things, without a desire, I didn't know what to say if I called someone so I didn't. And she gave me a good response, at some point I will feel like having a drink and that's what the phone if for.

Drove home and cried again. I'm sick of crying. I'm not going to wear makeup anymore because it is pointless. But at least this crying is not because I am sloppily drunk, or frustrated or sad. It's more of a relief and release. And also an incredulous feeling of belief, of Grace. It just seems so.

Anyway, this is good. I feel good. Like I just did the next right thing.