Young at Heart

If you haven't seen this movie go see it RIGHT NOW! Just beautiful, funny, heartwarming, poignant and inspirational.

Just came from the ER where my sponsee lies detoxing, again. I won't share what has happened except to say, she has gone to a lower floor on the elevator. I practiced my detachment yesterday...I brought her to the meeting and then said that she could call me when she was placed and someone else took her to the hospital. Her placement didn't work out and so she is back in the ER waiting....for help...I went and I comforted her, I prayed with her, I read her Step 1. Then I left. That was huge for me because I didn't want to really but I had to. For me and for her. She's in God's hands, she just has to realize that. I can do no more to help her with that.

I am leaving the AWOL. It just isn't what I was looking for but what helped me in that decision was attending a Big Book Step Study meeting yesterday morning. Now THAT, was it. In order to participate (speak) in the group you must have gone through the steps with a sponser from that meeting. The read a step from BB, yesterday was just a few paragraphs from Step 4 regarding FEAR. Then they have a speaker. Then they share. Otherwise you listen and let them know where you are in the process. What I was looking for was a deeper understanding of the steps. I've done them as outlined in the Big Book with the guidance of my sponser. I'm in the middle of Step 9 and try to do 10, 11 and 12 every day as well as Step 3 and 7. And my relationship with my sponser is step based and I respect and honor her guidance. This will only make me stronger. I talked to my sponser..she knows my new step study sponser..and endorses my decision. So there you go..I do not feel bad about leaving the AWOL and I am grateful that I can return to my Stepsisters group. What I feel bad about is abandoning my carpool buddy. She's not in my group in the AWOL but we drive back and forth together. I'll go this week to let her know and the faciltators...that will be hard but I think this is the right path for me. And I think I will better be able to guide someone else through the steps by doing it this way.