Okay, I'm a little freaked out. I guess I thought I skated by this alcoholism thing with no long lasting physical repurcussions. But I was wrong. The bloodwork I had yesterday shows that I have an anemic B12 deficiency. See here: http://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/vitamin-b12-deficiency-anemia-topic-overview. This explains the fatigue I have as well as some other symptoms. I think diet has very little to do with it because I am not lacking for food. I will get a shot a week for the next month and then monthly after that for the rest of my life. WOW! The rest of my life. That's screwed up. I don't need to tell you that this is coming just a little to close to my mother. She got B12 shots. I didn't understand why. Know I know. She ended up with Korsakoff's Psychosis which is permanent. I won't.But I need to be grateful about this. Grateful that I am a RECOVERING alcoholic. Because I am recovering I take care of my physical, mental and spiritual malady through the program of Alcoholics Annonymous. I don't drink. Because of AA, I now see a therapist to help with the underlying emotional/mental issues. My therapist sent me to a neuropharmacologist to discuss the anitdepressant I take and whether I needed it or not, physical. She sent me to a nutrionist who ordered the bloodwork checking for B12, physical. And wala! I am diagnosed. This never would have happened if I was still drinking. And if I was still drinking it is pretty apparant to me that I WOULD have ended up just like my mother.
But the gratitude doesn't really help with the emotions I am feeling right now. A combination of relief and regret. Relief that I will be getting the treatment I need that will help with some of the physical symptoms I have been experiencing. Maybe I will get out to the garden after all. Maybe I am not really slothful, but physically incapable. But regret that I have done this to myself. I know, I know....you don't have to tell me. This is where the spiritual aspect of this program comes in. And so I thank God for my sobriety which helps me to take care of myself which in turn allows me to help others.
7 comments:
im glad you caught it at this stage and not later.
Generally, the longer you are sober the more devastating you realize this disease is. 'hurts more but it bothers you less' as ken wilber says..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TUr949kmZk
anyway, have a nice weekend if I don't catch you before..
Don't get too freaked out about your bloodwork; be glad you caught it and that there are measures you can take to get well. Also, it shows you what a damaging thing alcohol is and that you really are playing with fire to go back to it. At least for me, that's one more thing in my head to make the whole drinking thing much less attractive. I take vitamin B supplements to help me. Glad I don't need shots, but I do have other meds I take to help nutritional deficiencies I have due to my liver being a little funky.
I was just writing recently on my blog about how great it is to take care of myself now that I don't drink. While doctor visits are not fun, the underlying reason - caring for me - is an awesome one. I'm so glad you are taking care of you!
B12 is a miracle. You will feel so much better once you get back to a decent level. Glad you found it.
Glad you are going to be OK. Sending hugs your way!
b, the whole range, is good for you. i've been taking them for years 'cause of add (nerves you know...). you are looking after yourself just the way you should be. good luck!
Hey, Kathy. YOu probably know I got very very ill in my third year of sobriety. The program still works...honest.
Thinking of you.
(((KATHY)))
I didn't realize that B12 would be needed. I think that I'll talk with my wife to see if she might not need some blood work done. She seems tired a lot too.
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