11th Step

I'm actually on my 8th step, can't quite get my list together, you know. Anything that requires writing sort of bogs me down. I owe some letters to my therapist too, though she would say I owe nothing, but the fact that she suggested it makes me feel like its on the list.

Anyway, we had our first 11th Step Meditation meeting yesterday and it went very well. 8 whole people showed up...well 6 in addition to myself and the other woman who put it together. Just from announcements. We did the usual AA stuff, preamble, serenity prayer, introductions. Then had someone read the st francis prayer, then read a bit of the 11th step, then 20 minutes of meditation, then a group reading of st francis, then a reading from the book Spiritual Awakening, then discussion. Four of the people there really appreciated the opportunity to practice the 11th step. One had a hard time with 20 minutes and the other wasn't sure if this was what she was looking for. I liked it though I have to admit I couldn't settle in. My mind was all over the place...I guess cause it was the first meeting. Apparantly I thought I had something to do with everything so I couldn't stop thinking about how the meeting was going, blah, blah, blah....so in 20 minutes I probably had 5 minutes of true prayer and meditation. But that's enough....anything is better that what I'd been doing when I was active which was NOTHING!.

Then today we read We Agnostics in my Big Book study group. Seems this weekend I must spend in contemplation of my relationship with God. I am so grateful that this program gives us our own understanding. I think for me that was key to coming to believe.