Gospodi Pomiluj

I need coffee! I am getting bloodwork this morning so I can't have any coffee until afterwards. This test was scheduled a long time ago and I just never went in to do it. My cholesteral is borderline and she checks my sugar as well due to diabeties being in the family. Now I am seeing a nutritionist who wants to check my iron, B12 and something else. Its kind of a pain and this is the stuff I used to shrink from. But I am trying to take care of me these days. So I'll naturally wake up, without the caffeine stimulant for one day..should make for an interesting morning meeting. Maybe I'll find out I don't need the caffeine...okay let's not get crazy here.

My daughter is on her way to London as we speak. She will be staying with a friend for 5 days and then heading off to visit another friend in Dubai for 8 days. This is the result of going to a big university and making friends from all over the world. She was very excited and I am excited for her. She set me up with a webcam so she can call me and I can see her. She is very excited about seeing the sites of London, to her Notting Hill of the movie, she's going on some big ferris wheel (she who is afraid of heights) and whatever else she can get her friend who sort of disdains the tourist stuff to show her. He will show her the offbeaten path stuff which is probably more interesting anyway. Of course we have been teasing her about the cultural stereotypes we have about Muslim countries asking her if she's packed her burka and the like. I know Dubai is a very modern city but she is so naive and we just want her to be respectful. I am sure she will be and her friend will take care of her. This letting go stuff can be tough when it comes to your kids.

Anyway, I am just so grateful that I can have this relationship with my daughter that I was unable to have with my mother. I cannot heal my relationship with my mother due to her illness so according to my therapist I am grieving. I tried one last time to get her to talk about her life. I asked her what she felt like when she discovered she was pregnant with me. She claimed not to remember....it was so long ago...but then she proceed to talk about the lionel trains her father had for her brother. So things we remember, feelings we don't.

Well, got to start my day....still want coffee and now I'm hungry too!!