The girls

I just had an awesome weekend. My girlfriends treated me to a weekend at a lakehouse to celebrate my upcoming big 5-0. Two of them paint for the woman who owns the house so they got it for free. The girls provided all the food. All I had to bring was my kayak, my books and my soda pop! Might I recommend Izze Sparkling Fruit Juice. My favorites are grapefruit and blackberry. Anyway, despite a forecast for rain and clouds we had a beautiful sun filled weekend. Went out on the lake a lot, got my first massage (one of them is a massage therapist and Reiki master) and had some great conversations and of course lots of food. They got me a beautiful silver charm bracelet from Tiffany's as well as a gift certificate to our favorite book store. They know me so well and I was so deeply touched by their acknowledgements. Honestly, it wasn't until now that I could appreciate these friendships and I have been friend with these women for over 10 years. They have been so supportive this last year. I thought these were girls I would have to leave behind because I did a lot of my drinking with them. e all worked in a bar together while raising our kids and when we left we continued on the tradition in a book club as well as socially. What I found out was that they were not drinking like I did so that when I stopped, it opened up our relationships on a deeper level. I always felt like I didn't belong...that they were just tolerating me. That they didn't really like me. What I found out was that my drinking created a huge block to any meaningful relationship. It wasn't them, it was me. One of the girls is probably also an alcoholic. Untreated. She's been to AA a few years ago as a result of a DUI but she never surrendered. I am grateful that I can show her through example how this program works. I had to explain to the others that we work on attraction not promotion but I did leave my Big Book laying around the house just in case.

The massage was a less relaxing than I suspect its supposed to be. I am just too self conscious of my big fat body to let go. Plus I kept waiting to pass wind....thank God I didn't. I felt bad that I couldn't enjoy it more because it was such a thoughtful gift given with the best intentions.

Anyway it was fantastic. Got home and took yesterday off not to recover from a hangover but to catch up on some things at home and get a mental health day from the boss. Of course here I am blogging on his time...but its the only way I can get through the day and give him some quality time. Or am I rationalizing a defect of charachter. I'm not going there, this was a postive post and I'm sticking to it......xo