Friday, April 18, 2008

Going Smober

So I was a nonsmoker. I quit originally in 1985 and then restarted in 1991 after I had my son. It was all part of the drinking and smoking after work thing. I started and stopped quite a bit after that. And never smoked in front of my kids. I will never forget the Christmas when my son caught me smoking on the porch. He was devasted and ran to his bedroom. He was about 8. He was crying and said that I was going to die. I promised him that I would quit smoking. I didn't though I tried. I had planned to quit again on New Years Day of 2003 but that was the day everything happened with my Mom so I started smoking her cigarettes. I quit again that summer and stayed quit. Of course I must add that when I quit my drinking escalated dramatically even though one of the things I think about is that my mother's "low" bottom became my "high" bottom. In the 4 1/2 years I drank after that, I could no longer do so without thinking of the consequences. Anyway, I stayed quit quite successfully but sometime a few months ago, I tried again. I don't know what exactly I was looking for...relief I suppose. I bought a pack, smoked one and threw it away, bought another, smoked 2 and gave it away, then bought another and I'm just too cheap, I kept it and smoked it. I talked to my sponser and therapist about it. And they said better that than drinking and that I must be covering for something. And I've been smoking ever since. In a very sneaky way. I am not a social smoker. I hide, then I use hand sanitizer if I can't wash my hands, then gum, then spray wild musk. I think I'm hiding the smell. Yeah, right. Anyway, I don't want to smoke and I'm started to feel effects like chest congestion and cough. I don't feel like I NEED it but now I'm addicted, so I've got the patch on (can't have any discomfort you know), gratefully at Step 2 since I never smoked alot, how could I with all that ritual, and its DAY 2. Wish me luck.....and I guess I'm just going to incorporate staying away from a cigarette to the staying away from a drink work. Addiciton, it sucks!


On a more positive note: 40 Tips for A Better Life
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
3. Buy a DVR. Tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga or stretching, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.

8. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
17. Try & pay an honest compliment to someone you wouldn't normally.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.

28. Nothing was here, I'm just cutting and pasting! Take a nap!
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
33. The best is yet to come.
34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
35. Do the right thing!
36. Call your family often.
37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.
38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
40. Share this with your friends.
May your troubles be less, May your blessings be more,
May nothing but happiness come through your door!

6 comments:

Shadow said...

what an excellent set of 'rules'. i may just stick that on my wall to remember it...

and yes, addiction sucks. any kind of addiction. strange, no, make that GOOD, how once addiction walks in the front door, the pleasure goes out the back door. gives us the motivation to STOP!!!!good luck with the smoking thing.

molly said...

i've been thinking about smoking lately (obviously! - ha) but remember what you said about it. i was thinking yesterday "why is it that I want to do something BAD (or what I consider "bad") and get away with it ??!!! it is like a rebellion thing.. like i'm emotionally FOURTEEN! WIERD.

i giggled at your son telling you you are going to die b/c of the cig. not b/c it is funny PER SE but I saw it as a scene in a sitcom or movie..

with quitting smoking it is more like one MINUTE at a time versus the day thing.

LOVE U and I felt LOTS of gratitude when i read u post on my blog. I love it when others say - "yup - me too". Helps me not feel so freakin ass CRAZY. so THANK YOU!

Fireman John said...

great list and a reminder of what is really important in life.
you can never be arrested for smoking while driving.

Michael said...

I loved that list, I have printed it out and will stick it to my wall.
Smoking, I have been quit about 13 months now but I am addicted to them "extra stregth" nicorettes, I go through 12 pieces per day and it costs me £16 every fortnight or so cos they are on special offer at outr supermarket I have been stocking up.
I feel I need to be addicted to something and them quit smoking chewies are much better for you than the real cigs and you get your hit of nicotine.
I suggest u try em but dont come off em

Syd said...

Thanks for the list. I like nos. 29 and 30. And 22-24. Those are my favorites. Hope that you can give up the cigs.

Jenn said...

I am with Molly, it is like I have to be doing something "bad". I just got done smoking a cig. It pisses me off because I worked so hard to quit two+ years ago and here I am doing it again. I figure it is better then drinking a bunch of wine every night. Good luck to you, I have no doubt you can quit.

Great rules!!! I really like those.