We were invited to a dinner party last night. I had a bit of angst about it during the week. The hosts were parents of one of my son's teammates. They've played sports together since middle school whether it was on the same team or opposing teams. Most recently as co-captains of the soccer team. So we've been sideline friends. Not really friends but you build a certain comraderie with the parents...kibbitzing the coach, cheering on the team, ride sharing and the like. And now our kids are graduating and then you don't see these people again. So I believe that was her motivation because the invitation came out of the blue and I was very flattered to be included but then again I was also thinking...geesh...do I want to be hanging out with these people? And I wasn't really given an opportunity to decline gracefully...the question was..what day don't you have plans...so I couldn't very well say...every day...which I was inclined to do. Anyway...I know these people are big wine drinkers and enjoyed a Christmas party there a few years back..drinking away and getting flush. They have this huge wine collection that we sampled..(of course I did a lot of sampling) and by the end of the evening explained that they served this two buck chuck to this other couple because they were big drinkers and didn't know difference.....and we talked about how it wasn't bad...me exclaiming of course. Next morning when I thanked her...I also told her two buck chuck gave me a headache...and then realized...she brought out the two buck chuck for ME.
But it was a nice time...we arrived and they were perusing a photo album of a trip to Italy with one of the other couples...and the hostess said just wanted to show you the area where we got the wines we'll be drinking tonight. I thought...here we go.....but it wasn't a big deal at all.
We brought a bottle of wine and 2 bottles of San Pelligrino. From previous experience I knew that no non alcoholic beverage would be offered. I had it all planned when asked...to say that drinking didn't do anything for me anymore and then pray it didn't go any further than that and if it did..I figured I would either fake it...or just tell them I was an alcoholic. But guess what...big suprise...nobody asked. When the host got us drinks after we arrived...he got my husband a beer and then just poured me a glass of San Pelligrino and that was the end of it. We had a nice dinner and the conversation was pretty good...another woman also was not really drinking..she had to cover her glass when the hostess kept refilling and quietly asked me to share the San Pelligrino...
We don't really do dinner parties...just not in our realm..but this was really nice. As my husband said..as we sat around the table...I feel like a grown up.
7 comments:
Glad that it went well. I remember a friend telling me that when the hostess tried to pour him a glass of wine, he said, "I've had enough". And he literally had 18 years ago--he was a black out drunk. And had his last drink on Nov. 1, 1990. I thought that was a good line--not a lie but very true.
Thanks for this share Kathy. It's nice to discover that we can manage our own disase simply and without drama. Somehow BYOB now translates to "Bring Your Own Beverage. Who knew it could be so simple?
Alice
i'm still amazed at how people don't see NOT drinking as not that big of a deal or as big a deal as I make it out to be. i take sparkling with me everywhere.
i realized too last night as i was going out that the ANTICIPATION of evenings like the one you describe are always worse than the actual event themselves. i do a lot of 'what iffing' prior to.. and it NEVER turns out to be a deal. like buddha said once 'life isn't as serious as my mind makes it out to be'.
happy belated V-day girlie! wish we lived closer :)
Good stuff :) some people drink because of pride... what will they think if I ask for a soft drink? is it unsociable? sometimes i find that our not drinking alcohol is actually being of service to the normal drinkers who are simply gripped by pride into boozing... gives them a chance to just socialise too.
Thanks for the tip on how to handle this type of situation. I am a former wino. Even worked at a winery at one time. Wine is my absolute weakness. No other alcohol tempts me. Add to it that my religious practices consider wine to be God's blood. Anyway, you get the point. You story will sit in the back of my head and resonate when I face any occasion as challenging as this one.
I love San Pellegrino. I always order it when out to dinner at a nice place. Glad that the party was a non-issue for you regarding drinking.
Happy valentines day to you too (belated)!
you know, this has happened to me too. went to a place, where i was convinced not drinking would be an issue or a problem or induce a lot of questions, and then... nothing happened. maybe it was just our perception at the time when we were drinking that EVERYone was drinking too? i think that was just me (then) being too grateful to not have to make an excuse to drink, it was freely offered, and that was that. drinking time for me. i never actually looked at what or how much anyone else was actually consuming...
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