I called her finally yesterday afternoon. Talked into her answering machine. Then she called me back and talked to my voicemail. Then I talked to hers. Remember when we didn't have voicemail? Then she did call me back and we had a nice talk until my battery died. She's 12 days sober. Going to a meeting a day. Making connections. Had a spiritual awakening in rehab. And as she says is either done or dead. I think she has clearly done Step 1. We'll talk again today. She's moving to another town but here's the kicker, the woman who went to her house with me also lives in that town. It's amazing how we're all connected in some way.
The funeral for our group member is tomorrow. He was only 36. I didn't really know him that well. We weren't "friends". But when he made it to our group and he shared, he helped me. Tremendously. He was rough and tough. He had tatoos all over his body and up his neck. He spoke of some of the terrible things he had done. But he also spoke of the deep love he had for his son and his wife. He had funny stories about fitting in with the soccer moms & dads. What his hopes and dreams were. How badly he wanted to be clean and sober. How badly he wanted to trust and rely on God. His life had not been an easy one and he had recently lost his father. I am just so so sorry that this man is one of the ones we have lost because his earnestness was plain to see. So was his frustration.
Not sure why some of us make it and some of us don't. I know the saying is there but for the Grace of God go I. I'm not sure that's it. That implies that God has favorites. Maybe it should be more like..there but for the Knowledge of the Grace of God go I. That wouldn't fit on a banner though:)
"If we want to undersand a person, we have to feel his feelings, suffer his sufferings, and enjoy his joy. The word "comprehend" is made up of the Latin roots cum, which means "with", and prehendere, which means "to grasp it or pick it up." To comprehend something means to pick it up and be one with it." Thich Nhat Hahn...Peace is Every Step p. 100
About Me
- Kathy Lynne
- North Shore, Massachusetts
- "But the first salt wind from the east, the first sight of the lighthouse set boldly on its outer rock, the flash of a gull, the waiting procession of seaward-bound firs on an island, made me feel solid and definate again..." -Sarah Orne Jewitt
Contemplative Outreach
On My Way
"I look to the future because that is where I'm going to spend my life" George Burns
Step 1
Surrender -Accept the Things I Cannot Change
Step 2
Came to Believe -Change the Things That I Can
Step 3
The Care of God -Wisdom to Know the Difference
MY TRUE INSPIRATION
Then
And Now
4 comments:
That's funny, I always say that 'there but for etc' to mean that it's a random pick, that I get to struggle with other things instead. You give me pause!
Dang...if all of us made it, we would not need 'all of us' any more. Or would we?
Kathy Lynne,
I am sorry for your loss of a friend. You sound amazingly serene through this. What a living example you are to those of us who may run into this at some point. Have a wonderful day! J.
I'm sorry about the loss of a fellow in your group. He had hope at one point. Sorry that he gave up on it. I wish that he had stuck through it all and had his dreams fulfilled.
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