Gospodi Pomiluj

I'm just very grateful that I am sober today and that the chains of alcohol no longer bind me. I am grateful for Alcoholics Annonymous and the many people who helped me to achieve sobriety. I really don't have anything more to say. It's very early in the morning. I am going to do a prayer sit. Then I'll go to my morning meeting. I keep thinking they won't remember its my anniversary and I'll have to tell someone so they will pass a card. Actually I won't, I can just wait until they do the chip presentation at the end and not get a card. See how my mind works? Gospodi Pomiluj! Then I go to work. I have to go to my Mom's this afternoon and do another food clearout. Then another prayer sit, this time with people. Then my book club. We read a great book..Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout. I thought it was very thoughtful that when my birthday passed a couple of weeks ago one of my friend noted that I had a sober anniversary coming up as well. That's pretty impressive from someone who isn't an alcoholic to remember. She's a good friend. I bet my husband will have no idea and I'm not going to tell him. Should I?

Anyway..I'm about to enter the terrible twos....WATCH OUT! xo

ps..so yes I did go to my morning meeting and with great joy comes great sadness. Yes, they remembered and had a card for me. And many people wished me well and my heart was full. Even the guy who chaired the meeting who has never made eye contact with me or said hello gave me a hug...I was honored. Last year when I celebrated my first year a woman who had been an example to me in that group and encouraged me through those first days but had moved away just happened to be in town for a wedding and was there for my anniversary. It was one of those signs we get that if we're not awake we don't see. This year, a fellow who I had come to care about and had disappeared for a few months (and we know what that means), whom I was very worried about and praying for, showed up sober and alive. I am so grateful. And sadly, we learned the news that a member of our group died last night. He'd always struggled but his heart was good and he wanted it. I heard recently from an oldtimer that this program is not for people who need it. It's not for people who even want it. It's for people who DO it. All in one meeting....life and death, joy and sadness, beginnings and endings...the road to Happy Destiny is bumpy but I am so grateful to be trudging it.

pps..the prospect I wrote about a few weeks ago..showed up in church this week 7 days sober. I wasn't there but the church ladies were overjoyed and contacted me. Time for another 12th step call....