The Bottom Line

And then...God is either everything or he is nothing. Either I believe it or I don't. I believe it. But I have to say put to practical daily purposes, I'm still trying to figure things out. Went to a step meeting last night and we did Tradition 1...how's that for timing. I was having this discussion with a woman at the meeting and discussing acceptance and how I'm still in kindergarden...I'm asking why....(oh yes, I know, the answers will come if my house is in order)....and I go to use her bathroom. She has a book in there...and there is a prayer...it says...Father, please help me to stop trying to understand (or something like that). I always say, I came to believe...Step 2...when I stoped trying to understand What God was and just accepted that He was. Now I'm at the everything or nothing phase. I'm still trying to plan...if I do this, that will happen, if I do that, this could happen, or maybe something else will happen. I should do this because of that, and if I do that, I'm not in line with what that said. and on and on it goes and where she'll stop nobody knows. Sometimes when I'm not sure about something, or faced with a problem...I think to myself..."oh, this is where I'm supposed to pray". Does that count as praying? I don't think it does but its closer. I'm pretty good at sitting in silence and solitude....but am I listening. Maybe not quite so much.

I had a light bulb moment last night. I went back and reread the whole story in the back of book...Acceptance is the Answer or in the older book, like I have..Doctor, Addict, Doctor. I hadn't read the whole thing in a long time. Let's put it this way, I started at the stories and haven't read them since. There's a line in there....If you focus on what's good today, then the good will increase, if you focus on the bad the bad will increase. If you focus on the problem, the problem increases, if you focus on the answer the answer increases. Geez, do you think THAT'S where they got the name for our morning meeting, "What's Good About Today?". And then what is the answer, the answer is acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. And what am I accepting, that either God is everything or he is nothing. And if I am accepting that he is everything then that is Always where my answer lies. And if I continue to focus on that my belief will increase because that is my answer. And around and around and around she goes, but I think this time we know where she's stopping.....In God's Hands. xo