Where I've Been

I went on a retreat here at the Garrison Institute at the end of March. It was a silent retreat...I only went for the weekend which was the tail end of a 10 silent retreat for others. It was a beautiful location, restored monastary on the Hudson River. The food was outrageously good, the accomdations pleasant, even a hot tub in the communal bathroom. Thomas Keating was the speaker for the weekend..so it was wonderful to get deeper insight into the practice of Centering Prayer from the spiritual leader of the practive. This was not an AA retreat at all but I'll tell you, Thomas Keating quoted Bill W. so how's that for inspriration! Since Garrison, NY is about 4 1/2 hours from my home I ordered the CD The Comtemplative Dimension of the 12 Steps for the ride and had my own little mini retreat on the way to/from which helped to segue me into the monastary and then home. It was really a wonderful experience and one I hope to replicate. Last year I went on a silent retreat with a few friends. I must say that going alone was a completely different experience. Complete solitude, no shared glances or knowing smiles. The schedule was something like this:

wake up
30 minute sit...stretch....30 minute sit
breakfast
session with Father Keating
30 minute sit...stretch...30 minute sit
lunch
1 1/2 hour of solitude..to walk around, read, nap, whatever
30 minute sit...stretch....30 minute sit
session nwith Father Keating
30 minute sit...stretch....30 minute sit
dinner
session with Father Keating
bed

I might have an extra sit in there...I can't remember now but it was intense. I am so grateful to have had the experience. The first night (Friday) I was so exhausted....got there at 3ish and had about 2 hours before a scheduled sit before dinner. Walked the grounds and found a great spot on the Hudson to read and enjoy the sun. Spring had come earlier there..so it was warm...I slept with my window open the whole time...and you could smell flowers. Then the sit, then dinner, then a session with the retreat leader (Thomas Keating had not arrived yet). To go into the mediation hall where they held the sits and sessions you had to take off your shoes. I was wearing my easy to slip on and off puma sneakers. As I left to go to bed I grabbed them from the shelf and went up to my room without putting them back on. Decided to soak the drive off in the hottub for awhile and took a shower to avoid the morning rush....when I opened the door to my room I saw a pair of black converses by the door and thought I had the wrong room. Looked around saw my stuff and realized I had grabbed the wrong shoes. So I tiptoed downstairs, it was about 11 pm now, and found mine and returned the converses. The next day..just before the morning session...announcements....someone took the wrong pair of shoes...the converse owners raised his hand and said they had been returned. I couldn't speak to him but later I approached him...pointed to his shoes and gave him a namaste bow. How embarassing but then again, it made me smile and I like to smile.

The other kind of funny thing though annoying at the time was the guy who was sitting next to me. You can see me against the wall on the left in the first choir chair. I look kind of slumped and I had a green blanket over me. Well, the guy on the floor decided to lay down to do his meditation. They suggest that you keep your back straight...and NOT lay down..because why? Take a wild guess..you induce sleep and that he did. AND he snored, continously until he'd wake himself up. The first sit...I let it go...second sit....its a good discipline of returning to my sacred word.....third sit...I moved my seat. I thought to speak to him at the end of the retreat, gently suggest he sit upright for meditation. Maybe he didn't know he was sleeping. How would you know? But I didn't. A good lesson for me.

But all in all it was a wonderful experience but I must say I have not kept up my practice....and that is what I am working on now. And I am also working on not beating myself up about not keeping up my practice. I am here...and I am in consious contact every day....that is good enough. xo