Pasta party was a success. They came, they ate, they left. My foyer was filled with smelly sneakers. Another mother came to help and my husband did the cleanup. I had soooooo much food left over. We'll be eating pasta for a week. But even more than that, I called a woman from my morning meeting, a single mom, struggling, with 3 boys and the neighborhood hangout. I was able to bring her a tray of Baked Ziti and a pot of Chicken & Broccoli with Cavetelli. That felt good. She recently started working again but they are taking so much out for insurance and stuff that her take home is nothing. She'll be fine in January but while they play catchup she's going to fall behind. But she brought it to the meeting and because the fellowship is what it is...she's getting the help she needs. I love that.
Did my speaker gig this morning. Brought one of my sponsees with me. ( I love saying that but it feels so wierd. I've got sponsees?) So got to hear more of her story. She said something funny at the meeting. She was an addict and had 3 1/2 years clean, so that means she's not an alcoholic. Yeah, I wasn't an alcoholic because I didn't go to AA. We know where that goes. Anyway I told my story..gosh I had butterflies and the room was big...I got a beautiful introduction from the chairperson who I met through my blog...seems she credits me with getting to AA....and we all know it wasn't me...it was something much Higher..She got me all choked up but I started and of course I went on way too long...but its hard to get everything in to explain where I was and how I got here. But what I wanted to share here is how much this forum helped me. On that first day of sobriety, I spent the day on the internet, trying to figure out how I was going to do this. I had surrendered. Complete and utter defeat to alcohol, but still thought I could fix it. As I surfed the net I came upon Red Headed Gal's blog. She hasn't posted in awhile and she will always be in my prayers. I read her blog from her first post and identified with everything. Stopping and starting again. Am I an alcoholic? Life circumstances. Everything. That led me to the rest of you. Decided to start my own blog on Day 2. Journaling had never been something I did. Wanted to, started one many times, never followed through. I guess the keyboard method works well for me. Judith I think was one of the first to find me as well as Irish Friend and johno. They encouraged me and gave me direction. Scout, who I miss and also pray for, is the one who after my writing for 2 weeks, about the program I was creating for myself, a little of this, a little of that, said.."Do you even go to meetings?" And nope, I didn't. I thought I'd take a teaspoon of AA, a dash of Smart Recovery, a tablespoon of journaling, read my yahoo group (of course, not actually participate), read blogs, and read the book Living Sober and that would be enough. I didn't want to actually talk to people, live and in person. Didn't want them to see me. That helped me not drink for about 2 weeks and then somehow I found myself at an AA meeting and thankfully to real sobriety. I met a woman there who directed me to the next meeting. I have been listening and following directions ever since. I didn't do 90 in 90. I did 180 in 90. And kept going. I read the Big Book. I found a sponser. I shared. I reached out my hand. Did roundups, retreats and above all as I went through the steps, had a spiritual awakening and learned that I had a Higher Power who is with me every day. Just like it says in the Big Book. Imagine that?