Did I Say That??

I found myself at a new meeting last night. It was at a local hosp that specializes in mental health and substance abuse. Our morning group does commitments there the first Saturday of the month so I was familiar. I got a call from someone there who was looking for support and its a public meeting. Great meeting actually. Locals as well as patients. A good mix of old and new. There were a lot of war stories told...and one guy shared that he tries not to get too involved in the stories (drunkalogues) because he could find himself trying to top it. I remember the first commitment I did there at 30 day sober and I told them I didn't know what my story was at that time. I was still figuring it out. Then I cried. It occured to me that I have a new story now. It doesn't matter how I got here but my story now is how I got sober. Through the program of Alcoholics Annonymous which I jumped into with both feet, without holding my nose and without looking down or back. The old it works if you work it. And basically, if you stayed sober today, you worked it.

At the meeting, I shared a little of this because I wanted those patients to know there was hope. It could be done. And I wanted them to know that faith could lead them there. Faith in whatever, AA, God, as it says a Power Greater Than Ourselves. They just had to have faith in something besides their own thinking. Rely on the opposite of Fear which I've been told is Faith. AA led me to Faith and I am very very grateful. So there I was, talking about being sober, AA, God of our understanding. The whole way home I couldn't believe that this was me. Not that I didn't have faith before, I did but it wasn't an integral part of my life. It was just something out there, it existed, I acknowledged it but didn't want to know it. As my spiritual advisor likes to say, either God is Everything or He is Nothing. So I guess God was nothing and now He is Everything. And around and around I go. This is usually when I stop thinking about it and just let it be. It's good to be sober.