Sunday, February 24, 2008

The Promises

"If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them." pg 83

I don't think I'm all there YET. But for the most part I do see them coming to fruition in my life. And more importantly I am willing to continue to work for them. Sometimes I cannot believe I am on this journey. I feel detached from it. I had a conversation (in my head) with my aunt, telling her that I am an alcoholic, finding AA and finding a Higher Power. I want to tell her because we talk alot and it feels dishonest not to tell her. That is something that came out of my fifth step. For someone who could be considered "chatty Kathy" I have issues with communication. Kind of ironic. Poor communication or no communication has followed me all my life. Either on my part or the part of those closest to me. Which is really a form of dishonesty. And why do I hesitate the conversation... because I fear rejection. When I can have a conversation such as this and there are many other conversations I need to have, when I can speak MY truth and not hide behind others' I guess I will have accomplished Step 6.

4 comments:

Michael said...

I think some of the promises have come true for me, the one about being serene, yes thats there sometimes.
Anyway Kathy welcome back to blogland, I cant hear your vid having no sound at work but I will when I get home.
Yes its a long slow process for me and a possible relationship, but I would like at least one again before I visit the next world, its just so hard for me to break the ice.
I am glad you are back anyway Kathy, and I am looking forward to AA tonight after going to vets to get rid of Boleys bandage hopefully

Syd said...

It's progress not perfection for me. I think that the BB is full of promises but these are my favorites.

Shadow said...

oh boy, communication. my worst. put me with a stranger and i can tell them the world, put me in front of someone close to me, i cannot utter a word. a stranger is easy cause i can walk away, never to see or hear from them again. no recriminations. no come-backs. that's why i find it so hard to open up to someone close to me. good going there girl!

Judith said...

I feel like the promises are coming true for me, and I haven't been nose-to-the-grindstone about the steps. However, I have been painstaking about my development and recovery. Like some of the oldtimers say "constant vigilance".