"Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them
help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up
about you, to have a host of friends-this is an experience you must not
miss." p.89
This has become very true for me. Last night I was at the Step Sisters
meeting. The chairperson of the meeting is whoever sits in the chair that the
purple book is under. Well, noone sat in that chair so one of the women handed
the book to me. So I start reading the introduction and by the time I get
to the preamble I am completely choked up and cannot speak. The woman next to
me had to finish reading it for me. I wasn't sure what had come over me.
And one of the women approached me at the end of the meeting and put it in
words, "your gratitude overflowed". She said this used to happen to her all the
time at the beginning of her sobriety (though never reading the preamble:) As we know this is not the first time this has happened for me. (Blubbering Idiot post)
And it really is a life, my life, taking on new meaning. I was in a room
surrounded by women sharing their experiences, strength and hope. And this
night their beliefs as we were on Step 2. I am getting to know these women. I
am beginning to love these women. I feel the same way about my morning
group and the men and women there. When I got home last night I read this from
the book Came to Believe:
"I knew I had to have a new beginning and this beginning had to be here.
I could not start anywhere else. I had to let go of the past and forget
the future. As long as I held on to the past with one hand and grabbed at the
future with the other hand, I had nothing to hold on to today with. So I had
to begin here, now. The next time I went back to my AA group the "happy hypocrites" looked different to me. I began to see love in their eyes, a greater warmth that i
had ever seen before. I mentioned it to my sponser, and he said, "The reason
you see love in these people's eyes is because you are beginning to love
them. The love that we see in their eyes is the reflection of our own love. We
have got to love to be loved." p. 46
And I think it is these feelings that help take away that compulsion to drink. This is my God at work. My mantra from my Francis of Assisi 30 Day Study
book yesterday was "God is wordless love". I think that is what I was
feeling last night and now. I am full.
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5 comments:
What a powerful post, It really made me think of the AA and all its done for me.
I have have always had a hard time being part of a group, I tend to shy away from social situations so maybe I miss out a lot on the things you describe.
But unlike other groups in the past my AA friends have always made me feel loved and welcome, it was just Monday after the Holiday I was thinking, I am fed up of keep going there, its like going through the motions then suddenly JDM said can I come, well I knew I had to go.
I suppose what Im saying its so easy to get complacent and drift away from the lifeboat especially when socialising isnt your strong point
ooo I loved that...."your gratitude overflowed". Been there darlin' :)
"As long as I held on to the past with one hand and grabbed at the
future with the other hand, I had nothing to hold on to today with." wow, that says all i felt earlier this week...
keeping posting, they really touch me. i can feel your feelings...
thanks for being around!
yep. tears of gratitude. theyre good. I get them a LOT these days..
The 'new life' we have been given can be VERY moving. Nothing wrong with that.
Nice story! It gets better!
"The love that we see in their eyes is the reflection of our own love. We have got to love to be loved." I LOVE what it said, its so true, giving freely for me means unconditionaly, which means that I HAVE to love AND be loved, no conditions. Love the post thanks
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