No Spin Zone

Martha at bouncing off the bottom got me to thinking about how much spin I've placed on my story. I think by definition the spin is based sometimes in a truth but it is not the main truth. You zero in on something else that allows you to ignore the real problem and to place blame elsewhere.

I didn't screw up in high school because my parents moved the family to another state. I screwed up in high school because I started drinking and drugging and all my ambitions and aspirations were zapped.

I didn't drop out of college my senior year because I was so advanced that I acquired social worker "burnout" doing internships, I dropped out because I failed all my classes fall semester because all I did was go to bars at night and was hungover during the day.

I didn't waitress every night because we desparately needed the money, I worked every night because I liked the party afterwards.

I didn't drink after work because it had been a rough night, I drank because I wanted to get drunk.

I didn't nap with my babies because I liked to cuddle, I napped with my babies because I needed to recover from the previous evening.

I didn't get involved with a guy at work because I had found my lost soul mate and new best friend and my husband didn't pay attention to me, I got involved because I was drunk and self centered.

I didn't avoid social gatherings because I was a recluse, I avoided them because I wanted to drink more than was socially acceptable.

As they say in the Big Book, the list could go on ad infinitum. But I thought it was about time I said out loud the truth.