Economic Insecurity

Spent all day Saturday, Sunday and Monday working on spreadsheets, budgets, loan applications and the like figuring out how to afford my daughters tuition, rising fuel costs, home repair and the like. Don't get me wrong. I am very grateful because I realize that some of these problems are cadilac problems as they call them. We have a nice home, enough to eat, clean sheets and that's enough. We have made choices that others wouldn't even be able to consider. We could fix a lot of this very easily by downsizing our home and sending our daughter to community college. Making do with one car, etc. But we are happy with our choices so we are willing to struggle to make it happen.

Anyway, working with these numbers has usually been something I would drink through like many of my household chores. And discussing it with my husband usually ended up with me in tears and him blowing up. I avoided it at all costs and that would tick him off too. Anyway, we had the big budget summit and discussed what our costs are, how to pay for them, where we can make cuts, etc. Should we refinance or not. Which educational loans to apply for. Was it frustrating at times? Yes. But did I drink over it. No. Did I stomp my feet and demand my way? Well, a little but I was willing to hear him out and allow him the time to weigh the pros and cons. It takes my husband longer to make decisions than me and I was able to listen and be somewhat patient about it.

I guess what I am saying is that I am seeing the fruits of the program in my life. I did not drink nor did I think about a drink. I only thought about killing my husband a few times. And I did not smoke though I was definately jonesing. This is amazing to me. And I am very grateful.