Thursday, July 1, 2010

The Hard Part

So the hard part won't be making this change....this past weekend helped me to affirm that. The hard part will be telling my boss of 10+ years. It's just him and me and it will be like leaving a marriage. I will have to get past the feelings that he cannot survive without me, that he will be angry, all the projections I have. I left a job once just before I got married. I had been managing 3 stores for this small business and wanted to get into something more national since we were moving out of state. When I gave my notice, the store owner, swore at me and threw a book and said this is a fine time! He apologized later but I had been unprepared for that. So now I suppose I'm overpreparing but at least this program tells me that I must stay in the day and today I am NOT leaving my job and won't be for awhile. I have to take classes, perhaps get something part time in the field. I'm just going to let it happen and when the time is right I will know. It's overwhelming sometimes to have that level of Trust. And I don't always but its getting there. My boss loves what he does and has given me a what you do and do what you love. I will bring that in with me when it is time. I will remind him of our client who has PTSD and how I was more concerned with HER well being than with handling the case. That is what he does, what he loves. Anyway, that is not for now. For now, I will just take the actions as they unfold. Part of the actions is finishing my damn fourth step! My sponser has suggested we set a deadline of September. I think having an end time will help. And I know from my previous fourth step that more will be revealed and that whatever anxiety I am feeling may very well be alleviated. I just have to Trust.

I wish I was going to San Antonio. But alas, I will have to live it vicariously through you bloggers. Have a wonderful experience.


Carol said...

Keep us updated

Syd said...

I think that it is the great sense of responsibility that has made me not want to move on from relationships and even jobs. I stayed at my current job for 31 years. I love the field but could have likely moved on from the job to another one. But I felt that I needed to stay. The same with my marriage. And for both I am glad to have stayed. You will known when the time is right to move on. Trust is an awesome thing.

Carol said...

Thanks for your comments on my blog, good to know that you're 'out there'.

Mary Christine said...

It was nice to see a comment from you.

Trust - I notice you have it capitalized - and that says a lot.

steveroni said...

OMG I have not been keeping up on your blog--I'm embarrassed, ashamed.

In San Antonio, one speaker at the BIG meeting said that it was the first meeting he attended. That he could go to meetings at home. But in San Antonio he preferred to talk to the Peeps--one-on-one--from all over the world. And that's why he comes to conventions...I forget if he was the one sober 63 years!

I'll get you on my side bar pronto, Kathy Lynn. namaste

Banana Girl said...

Happy Belated Birthday: Three years! Seems only yesterday we "met." Good to see you writing here again. Love your shares. J.