Friday, September 18, 2009

My Sister, Who's a Sister, But I Don't Call Her Sister

This is Sister Maurice (on the right) not with her sister but with her dear friend Sister Rose (who is not her sister but is a Sister). Got That? They've been friends for 50 years...amazing. The retreat at the Wilson House was very nice. Met some nice people. I loved Sister Maurice..she knows what she's talking about, she's clear, down to earth, she's very funny, she's kind, old school and reminds me of my grandmother but with a sense of humor. What evoked the most emotional response from me was her discussion on self worth and self esteem. Self esteem is our perception of self worth. Self worth never changes..it is given to us. We are a child of the universe, no less than the moon and the stars. I think this weekend revealed to me that I do not value my self worth. I have never in my life thought of myself as having low self esteem but since her discussion brought up a lot of emotion for me I think I need to look at that. I think perhaps I have been confusing humility with self esteem. Most of the time I honestly just don't think I'm worth it. But that's not being humble that's devaluing my self worth. The only way for me to reflect my self worth and improve my self esteem, I must continue to work on my relationship with my Higher Power. So as long as I'm working my Step 11 on a daily basis, I should be okay.

The other big takeaway for me was her note that peace at any price is not love and that we must break the silence. Silence signifies acceptance. That will be a tough one but she gave us some concrete tools to break the silence and to handle what's "pitched" at us. I haven't tried it yet but I have passed it on. I also really enjoyed hearing Sister Rose's story as a member of Al-Anon. Other than the few al anon blogs I read here, this was the first time I heard someone's story (who is not an alcoholic) and it gave me a much needed perspective on how my husband must have felt and maybe still feels. It'd be cool if he wanted or was willing to check out AlAnon but I don't see that happening in the near future but it certainly helped me. And it is all about me.

This weekend I go on another retreat of sorts. Camping with the girls. We'll go up north to a really nice lake and state campground. Kayak and Cook...really looking forward to it. It's supposed to be sunny and nice...the last hurrah of the summer. My friends are not alcoholic but they've been very supportive in my journey and though I'm sure they'll be drinkiing wine I'm sure they won't be drinking as much as I was when I was active.

Have a great weekend!

9 comments:

Carol said...

Great, I got to hear the sisters at a Bradford AA anniversary several years back.

As a child of an alcoholic you have your own story, just not the program to go with it. There are many double winners at Alanon mtgs, your resistence is serving a purpose for you now. When you no longer need that purpose served, your resistence will melt away. Like snowflakes in spring.

steveroni said...

Hey, these are the same two nuns who spoke at my "cookie" meeting last night (my Friday "55" word thingie.

Wonderful that you experienced their wisdom and humor also. Thanks! (I got a big hug from Sister Maurice!!!)

PEACE!

johno said...

we are all children of God, I love that! thanks for the reminder have a great weekend :)

Jess Mistress of Mischief said...

Awesome! How wonderful!

Banana Girl said...

When I first got sober I thought too that my hubby should, might, could attend Al-Anon and voiced my frustration in a meeting that he didn't get it, this sobriety thing. A very wise friend talked to me after the meeting and said "Just remember, he doesn't have to get it, you do." Once I accepted that, almost as if a miracle, he changed. Or was it me that changed. No matter, our lives have been transformed together and apart. I have a new reverence for what I put him through. He has a new and abiding faith in me. And it came as simply as a new wild flower in spring. I just needed to appreciate the beauty. Your hubby will be there to the degree he can at any given moment, if you stay on your side of the street and wave to him occasionally. J.

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

they look lovely!
i love getting feedback from people like this. :)

Elizabeth Mahlou said...

I am curious: Why the Russian title to your blog? (Lord, have mercy.)

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing this Kathy. Makes me want to go on retreat so bad. Camping with the girls sounds like fun too. Have a great time!

Syd said...

Great message. I haven't heard Sister Rose but have heard Sister Maurice. I also believe that silence is acceptance. With all the anger and hate in the world, it is good to speak up and rationally. Unfortunately, that too is misinterpreted.
My wife won't go to Al-Anon and I've never asked her to. She works AA and I do Al-Anon. I'm okay with that. It does matter that I get it.