Merry Christmas

Between the support here, online and at meetings I cannot tell you how much better my outlook is today. The fellowship in AA really does work as does prayer and the program. Yesterday I managed to get my house decorated without drinking and by the end of the day I was actually humming a Christmas carol. Managed to handle my husband's irritable mood after he shoveled the foot of snow we got this weekend. Managed to get a hug from my 17 year old son who claims he doesn't care whether we have a tree or not (caught him whistling a Christmas carol too!) Is it all visions of suger plums and fairies? Absolutely not. And tomorrow may suck. As someone in my morning meeting said today, Santa can take a flying F*CK. But yesterday I was humming and today I am grateful and that is all I can ask for. I was given permission to share this from one of my online groups. It very articulately describes how I've been feeling and how I don't have to anymore. Merry Christmas!

"As the holidays arrive it is easy to become distracted by our desire for perfection. It might be the need to craft a festive environment, always be in an upbeat mood, or simply the desire to find just the right gifts for everyone in our lives. Even though these things can be positive, if we start putting too much pressure on ourselves during this season, we are much more apt to forget what truly is important -- celebrating our lives with the people we care about. For many of us this time of year can stir up a host of mixed emotions. For example, we might feel a tinge of nostalgia for past holiday celebrations, when times were simpler, or a sense of being let down due to the unmet expectations we have for ourselves and others. No matter what our feelings are, they are likely to be caused by an unrealistic sense of what the holidays should mean for us. Rather than thinking of this season as a time for finding the perfect gift or hosting the best party, we can get so much more out of the holidays if we create a personal inventory of the things that matter most to us. With each item we add to our list, we can then set the intention to use this season as a time to consciously rejoice in and express our appreciation for the blessings we have and for our program. The more we are able to let go and let God/HP, of our traditional expectations for the holidays, the more open we will become to the bounteous spirit that lies within us. Our true enjoyment of this season will only come from looking within and reflecting on the deeper spiritual significance the holidays have for us. Infusing our holiday activities with a sense of gratitude will bring a greater level of enjoyment to our life and also help us extend loving and kind energy to all we encounter. It is this spirit that will allow us to truly celebrate by sharing our greatest gifts -- infinite love, peace, understanding, and joy -- with those around us. Three things will last forever -- faith, hope, and love -- and the greatest of these is love.= ( 1 Corinthians 13:13, NLT ). I want to wish each and everyone of you a Merry Christmas and a Happy & Sober New Year. And want you all to know how grateful I am for you all and our program/fellowship, and how important it is to be celebrating our lives with each other and the people we care about and around us."