Crash

I had a rough morning. I pick up a few women for the morning meeting and I drop off one of the women's daughter at school on the way. This morning, she got out of the car, and I assumed she was walking behind the car and began to proceed but she was in front of me and I hit her. Nudged would be a better word for it but it scared the living daylights out of me and of course the daughter. I just wasn't paying attention. We were late for the meeting, I was talking away and boom. Talk about getting ahead of yourself. She was not hurt but was scared. Me too. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I could not stop crying. Her mother was telling me it was allright and I know it was but I just could not stop. I thought I'd stay in the car to compose myself but I went inside because I thought I pulled it together. Of course we were late so we missed the moment of silence and I just weeped through the whole meeting. I passed because I couldn't speak. I got up several times to try to pull it together. Every time I got a compassionate look it made me cry harder. I ended up outside with the smokers where I was able to share which really helped. Brought me down to earth and outside of myself. That helped. Thanking God it wasn't worse helped too. Probably there is more going on inside for the floodgates to open like that. Just when I thought it was safe.......

On a better note, two women who have been struggling called me this afternoon. Which again, gave me an opportunity to get outside of myself. One was checking in on me from this morning and the other I'd been calling because she hadn't been to meetings in a few days so she finally returned my call. Things aren't great but she hasn't had a drink. This is a beautiful program.