Gospodi Pomiluj

Yet again she helps me: "I find it is easy to give a plate of rice to a hungry person, to furnish a bed to a person who has no bed, but to console or to remove bitterness, anger and lonliness that comes from being spiritually deprived, that takes a long time."

We had a situation after our morning group yesterday. A man who supposedly had longterm sobriety, who claimed spiritual fitenss and Christian values became agressive with another man from the group after the meeting. As I was driving away, it became violent and I felt myslef driving my car to the brink of where they were sparring, sounding my horn and slamming the brakes. Myself and the two other women in the car broke up the fight and called the police. I stood between the 2 men mainly to stop one from hitting the other, (kept my back to the agressor) and facing the other trying to get him to walk away...I felt no fear, in fact I felt at peace. In looking back I honestly feel that God was with me. There was no thinking

involved. There was noone else there to stop this agressive action. I am grateful I had the opportunity to stop this but at the same time, on the next day I am filled with both anxiety and a bit of anger. Anxiety because the agressive person was in the meeting this morning. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Right? I understand now, that he is a sick and suffering alcoholic, and that what he shares in meetings is not necessarily the truth but I am really grappling with the feeling of betrayal. Obviously he cannot share what he has not got. As someone who is just learning to speak my truth, who is dependent upon the honesty of my fellows because I count on their experience to help me stay sober, I have a bit of anger at realizing this guy has been full of sh*t. He has not been speaking his truth. He has not been sober. He has been lieing. He has been using the principles AGAINST personalities.

I became overwhelmed at the meeting this morning. I did not feel safe. Probably feelings that I had held in from yesterday. I am not resentful just saddened and fearful. I don't want to be cynical or distrusting. But at the same time, I need to protect myself. Not physically, but emotionally. I am anxious to hear how those of you with longterm sobriety see this and how you understand the traditions in handling this situation. The group will be having a group consciousness meeting tomorrow to discuss the matter. Some of the men in the group were going to try to do a 12th step on the agressor and try to get him to a detox. In the brief discussion we had after the meeting today, I expressed my concern regarding Tradition 3. But I was also reminded of Tradition 1, regarding our COMMON welfare. I began to feel safe again. Thank God for the traditions. I know the group will make a decision as to what is best, I Know AA has provided an outline of suggestions as to how to handle situations such as these, I know that there are people in that group I CAN trust and therefore I will continue to feel safe. I UNDERSTAND that sick and suffering alcoholics are just that, sick and suffering and that my sobriety depends upon helping them.

After the altercation yesterday, the other man was taken to the hospital. As I drove to work, I realized that noone really knew that he was there and that he may need a ride back to his car. So, again, I was guided to the hospital. I spent time with him in the ER while they tried to determine his injuries. His head had been slammed to the pavement. He is not someone I would have ever talked to after the meeting. We prayed and discussed how AA has changed our lives. He kept saying what a wonderful experience this was. He held no malice to the person who had done this. He tried to understand it as did I. Noone else ever came. He did not need a ride back as they admitted him because of dizzieness and hearing loss so I was able to leave and share with others who are his friends so that they can follow up with him. I understand people have been calling him and checking in so I feel my work is done. He spent the night in ICU. This has been a very enlightening experience but I must really say that I truly felt my Higher Power at work and I am very thankful for His care and protection.