Having Another?

I had the day off Monday in honor of Veteran's Day. I was able to go to the parade to watch my son march in the band to honor our local heros. There was a nice crowd and it was extremely moving. Our town lost a son 2 years ago in Afghanistan. A well liked boy from a nice family. A leader amongst his peers. His father read a beautiful poem about our children laying down their sports equipment for guns that someone had annonymously left in his mailbox. I try not to get angry about this war but I am afraid I am. I am grateful to these honorable men and women who are called from within to duty and I am very patriotic about my country. But my patriotism does allow me to express my dissatisfaction with our leadership and this war which has gone on much too long and was ill advised in the first place. And while I don't look forward to the coming election year I do look forward to change. I pray that our country will do the right thing this time. I'm not sure what the right thing will be but as a citizen of Massachusetts I know one person who would not be good for this country. I won't name any names but he was a governer here. That's as strong as my feelings are about any particular candidate. Hopefully I can focus on the postitive soon but all I can think about is NOT getting someone elected. Anyway, that is not where I was going with this post....

What I was trying to reflect on with Vets day was that the parade ended just in time for me to attend the noon meeting which I usually do not attend because of work. I had done my usual morning meeting and thought it would be a treat to go to the nooner. Someone at the morning meeting had told me I should do something to treat myself to celebrate my 5 months. I don't think she meant go to a meeting but I was glad I did. The speaker was one of the first speakers I heard. He's a "tough guy". His story was quite different from mine but I remember one thing he said. You can't sit in a garage and expect to become a car. Meaning that this is a program of action. And he said this when I was getting all these car analogies. It stuck with me and it helped me to see that I had to work for my sobriety. It wasn't going to come by just reading and not drinking. It meant going to meetings, talking, writing and doing the steps. I got to thank him and that was cool.

Later, I attended my usual Monday night meeting. I was tired and honestly if I had my druthers I would not have gone but I am the Secretary and that is also a part of the work. I don't particularly like this meeting. But there are 2 people there that I must hear so I go. Their message is clear and spiritual. So I tolerate all the rest and I listen to them. And sometimes what I "tolerate" is good too:)

Anyway, as I was getting ready to go to the evening meeting, my poor husband who also had the day off, looks at me and says, "you're going to another meeting? " It sounded just like when he used to nag me about my next glass of wine. "you're having another?" "KATHY......" Used to really irritate me. This time I was struck with that same irritation. But it was also amusing. Sometimes I think, for me, the hardest part about getting sober is doing it around someone who doesn't understand and doesn't necessarily want too. And whether I'm having a drink, a cheeseburger or going to a meeting, his expectations are still the same. He has them:) He's happy that I'm sober and in that sense doesn't care how I got here just that I did but he really doesnt' get it. I guess this will be something to pray for and to work for as well. Who knows?