My son was arrested last night and charged with assault and battery with a deadly weapon. Seems he and his friends thought it would be a good idea to drive around town with a dozen eggs (the deadly weapon) looking for teenagers to throw them at. 911 calls came into the police and they set up a net and stopped them, found the empty egg crate in the car and my son and one other boy fessed up to throwing the eggs and were arrested along with the driver. The other boys were sent home. An 18 year old girl was injured with, from what the cops say, a nasty welt on her side. Apparently her father was after them as well and we are lucky the cops got to them first. There is a report of a young child getting hit though no proof of this. I am extremely grateful that it appears alcohol was not involved. While my son admits he was really stupid he thinks this is "normal" teenage stuff. It doesn't feel normal to me. He's 17 years old. This seems the stuff of much younger kids. He is an honors student. He is smart. But you know what, sometimes he is not very nice. And he has been mean, at least to me. He used to be a compassionate kid but he doesn't seem so anymore. He seems remorseful but he has made a series of bad decisions especially since he got his license. And while he hasn't been caught drinking, I am sure he has been as I have seen some online pictures that look suspect.
And while I am full of fear and working on 4 1/2 hours of sleep, I feel strangely calm. I am worried about his record and his future, but I feel at peace. I am angry, but I'm not frustrated. I do have faith that what ever happens is supposed to happen. I will pray that my son be guided. I will pray that my husband and I are guided. According to the cops and a few lawyers, as a first offense, its possible that it can get reduced to disorderly conduct or something. I want whatever happens to be the best for my son. He needs this lesson. His world just got very small. He is not "normal". He is the child of an alcoholic.
So my husband and I get to celebrate our 21st wedding anniversary today watching our son get arraigned.
"In all times of emotional disturbance or indecision, we can pause, ask for quiet, and in the stillness simply say: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Thy will, not mine, be done."
11 comments:
I'm sorry. I've been there..many times.
You will get thru it.
Your son will get thru it.
But I know your heart hurts right now...for him and for yourself.
woah! not your normal hallowwen night is it. i think i would have flipped my lid if i were in your shoes. you know, boys go out have 'fun' without too much thought of consequences at times. no matter their age. i'm glad you are feeling the way you do, i may just have been hysterical today, not calm like you.... good luck with whatever happens, and i truly hope he learns something from this.
HAPPY WEDDING ANNIVERSARY to you guys too. 21 years. that's quite something!!!
lotsa love!!!
p.s. thanks for that comment. it makes sense. although i'm gonna read it again and again... i needed to get some kind of perspective on that...
Hi Kathy,
Its when they get in groups isnt it, youngsters seem to loose there minds, I suppose I did some really stupid things as well.
Buttercup is the same she has got with the wrong group of girls and she is going wild at the moment
Kathy, I kind of know how you are feeling. My straight A middle schooler just brought home an F in French class because he has not been turning in his homework and has been lying about doing it. Plus, he's been having trouble getting along with kids when he has to do group projects. Up until this year, all has been great. Now...
And, of course, my husband and I do not have the same approach at how to go at this. My husband has been at the get-on-his-case-and-swear approach all along. I've sat back and watched, not wanting to directly reprimand my husband. I think I'm not angry, just worried and trying to figure out how to proceed with my kid's self-esteem intact.
Um, on another note, since when are eggs deadly weapons? Did they have salmonella? I mean, wouldn't that make just about any thrown object deadly? When was the last time someone was killed by an egg? Even an ostrich egg?
Sorry. Just seems a little off the wall.
Happy anniversary to you and your husband. Keep hanging in. I'm thinking of you.
xoxo
Kathy,
I'm sorry to hear about your son's arrest. It isn't the ideal way to celebrate anything much less your anniversary. But it seems that you are handling this well by letting him take responsibility for what he did. I hope that you do get to enjoy your anniversary.
Hi girlie: Not a fun way to spend the anni huh? You sound really good in spite of the chaos. I'll check in on you tomorrow to see how you are. In the meantime, hope you enjoy the rest of your evening and it remains calm :)
Were you sexually abused as a child, Kathy?
AA PUSSIES!!
I don't attend AA meetings anymore -- thank God. I imagine leaving AA becomes more difficult the longer one has been exposed to this evil, soul-destroying cult. I read with some sadness of a Stepper who wanted to leave but found it difficult because AA was his whole life. One becomes trapped & I imagine most Steppers feel safe albeit quite isolated from the real world. I imagine most Steppers don't have the guts to quit (AA) because of the indoctrination ("If you quit AA -- You will drink").
My process (recovery) started in 1994 (therapy, etc) but it took me many years to make a complete break from all 12 Step programs (I was also going to SLAA, CODA, ACOA). I imagine most alcoholics are terrified of intimacy (emotional cowards) & attending 12 Step programs is the ultimate escape (from intimacy). I would suggest that quite a few of the Steppers are "pussies" because they won’t face life "full on" without the "crutch" of 12 Step programs.
I, MICKY, AM A GIFT TO ALL PEOPLE!!
That you felt strangely calm and at peace is an excellent sign. Your son will live his life the way he wants to, making mistakes all the way. Just like you and I did.
But I sure as hell don't see how a charge like assualt with a deadly weapon can stand up in court when the deadly weapon is an egg! Who's fooling who?
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