TGIF Musings

I went to a different meeting yesterday at noon. Different town, following a funeral. Really helped me to appreciate the meetings I go to as this particular meeting just didn't cut it for me. Too much talk about how it was....in fact I left with the idea..maybe controlled drinking is an option. Haven't tried it yet since coming to AA. Tried it plenty of times before but not with the AA knowledge. Just a reminder that I need to remain vigilant so that when these normal (for an alcoholic) notions attempt to take up residence in my head....I have a solution. Also a reminder that meeting makers might not make it if they don't. It's not about the meeting its about the solution.

The person I wrote about recently who got me all flamboozled approached me during the meeting this morning to purchase a necklace for her daughter who was celebrating 5 years. I took care of the transaction, got a few messages about how to pay for stuff or put stuff on hold and just felt that the whole incident has been taken care of...God has his ways.

Turned over my Monday chairperson position for the group. I've been doing it for almost a year..so its time...I'd been toying with the idea of asking this person and was afraid of burdening her. Monday's job is tougher because we have to make the coffee and get there super early. I've moaned about it here. She was thrilled to be asked and doing it early is no problem for her. It felt great to pass it on. The spirit of rotation is very important. I'll give her the can of coffee in the trunk suggestion for those Mondays when we are forgotten. And I'll still have my monthly job of keeping the phone and anniversary list updated. It's ALL good.

There's another person in that group who shared his analysis of why he feels so resentful and angry at the meeting. It was great. Well, it made me feel great because in all my self centeredness I've taken the glares and lack of aknowledgment personally. I knew intellectually that it had nothing to do with me, but truth be told my feelings were hurt. His analysis is that AA threatens his alcoholism. So he can be the friendly and engaged person outside of a meeting but when he gets to the meeting....I hate saying, his disease makes him do it, but that in essence is what it is. The message tells him he can't drink and he doesn't like it. Anyway, it was reassuring to know that he was relatively happy outside of the meeting cause people's feelings hang on me.

Anyway its a new day. The sun is out after about 4 days of gloom. Amazing how the sun and the moon (full last night I hear) can affect my moods and feelings. I felt so weighed down by the world yesterday and this morning I feel as light as a feather.