The Promises

"If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them." pg 83

I don't think I'm all there YET. But for the most part I do see them coming to fruition in my life. And more importantly I am willing to continue to work for them. Sometimes I cannot believe I am on this journey. I feel detached from it. I had a conversation (in my head) with my aunt, telling her that I am an alcoholic, finding AA and finding a Higher Power. I want to tell her because we talk alot and it feels dishonest not to tell her. That is something that came out of my fifth step. For someone who could be considered "chatty Kathy" I have issues with communication. Kind of ironic. Poor communication or no communication has followed me all my life. Either on my part or the part of those closest to me. Which is really a form of dishonesty. And why do I hesitate the conversation... because I fear rejection. When I can have a conversation such as this and there are many other conversations I need to have, when I can speak MY truth and not hide behind others' I guess I will have accomplished Step 6.